re_alignment | [audio, airborne]

[You know what Whirl doesn't like? Okay, everything. You got him there, smarty bolts. But more topically, Whirl is not fond of waking up in strange places and being fed ridiculous stories about blah blah the First Forged blah. And the fraggin' Acolyte would not shut up.

[At least, until Whirl had punched him in the face. Just a little friendly feedback to stop being so damn boring. So he's doing some information gathering, the old fashioned way--flying around looking for trouble. ]

So. Stupid mech was telling me something about a fresh start.

I dunno. Maybe it wasn't 'fresh start.'. Maybe he meant like, fresh tar or freeze tarts or something. Kinda hard to enunciate after some editorial knuckles.

[Which are Whirl's favorite flavor of knuckles.]

Thing is ['scuse him while he shoots something. Because...uh...reasons. It needed shooting. Damn piece of scrap metal ] I've heard that before. And let me tell you: there's always a price.

Anyone figure out what it is yet?

And don't give me any boo hoo slag about never going home again.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Was that sarcasm? Whirl is immune to sarcasm.]

Hey, you're not so bad yourself.

[Why yes, he's flirting with you. Have a nice time sleeping at night!]

[Her life has become exceedingly strange.]

This is a suit you know.

Yeah? That because you're so ugly underneath? Or you hiding your secret hotness?

It's a mysteryyyyyyyyy woooOoooOOOoooo...

[A-are you seriously trying to out-crazy Whirl? SERIOUSLY? OH IT IS ON.]

Right. I'm going to go with ugly, then.

You got a function other than being annoying.

And ugly?

The world may never know.

Well I am an engineer.

[Oh damn. Now Whirl has a mission. Which is to see you naked.]

[...that came out wrong.]

Yeah? I make clocks.

Wow that's...

Actually kind of legitimately cool. What kind of clocks?

[He shrugs.] Anything. Clocks, timers, synchronic sequencers. Anything with a chrono-setting.

[Peers.] You got any?

Huh. Sounds like you have a lot of...

Spare time. Ahaha...

Sorry.

Uh, yeah I do. In my RIG.

[She taps her helmet.]

[A long moment. Because. What?]

[Whirl can laugh. IT sounds a bit, well, crazy, though. And weird since, you know, no face.] Good one.

[Actually original, too. Or at least it's been a long time since someone's made a joke to Whirl about it.]

Yeah? Most of us call that a 'head'. [Vocabulary time with Uncle Whirl.]

Well at least you have a sense of humor.

[A staticy sigh through the voice filter.]

No, my RIG. My suit. There's a HUD in my helmet and-

[She points at a small screen attachment on the chest of it.]

Here, too.

You're the first to find that a plus.

[Okay the Sweep corpses had thought he was hilarious but, you know, they were dead. ]

[He tilts his head.] You sure it's a good idea to be telling me how your suit works? [Because he can only use it to destroy you later.]

Sense of humor is always a plus.

If I was worried about telling you where I keep my clocks? Besides, what am I seriously going to do if someone wants me dead? You're all giant fucking robots.

I can safely say, my RIG won't do a damn thing to help me if one of you guys decides I need to be street-pancake.

Edited 2012-08-03 20:15 (UTC)

You should see someone about that. [That's about half Whirl being...Whirl, and half a suggestion to see someone like Wheeljack or Perceptor to armor up. ]

All I can do is check your chrono.

[Bleh.]

And blow you up. [Much better.]

Doesn't really matter.

[Someone has a mild death wish.]

You're a strange guy.

Hey. Could be fun. You never know.

[You can't be a Wrecker without a death wish. *brofist*]

Stop with the compliments. They itch.

Depends on what your definition of 'fun' is.

Oh I'm sorry, does it offend your tough-guy sensibilities?

Anything not boring.

[It's a start.]

Yeah, well you know me. Us mail clerks are the toughest. [Speaking of.]

You got a locator beacon? [OH NO REASON.]

Wow, you are definitely creative, aren't you?

Mmmhm. You know they have that phrase 'don't go postal' for a reason.

[A pause.]

Yeah. Why?

I can be. With the right motivation.

Because postal clerks are the best, obviously. [Because he is one. Wait. No he's not. ]

Oh. You know. [He tilts his head, coyly. ] Just in case I ever want to drop in and say hi. [Hiiiiiiigh...explosive, maybe.]

Yes, clearly.

Huh. Well sure, I guess. Just make sure you don't piss off Ratchet.

I'm just at the medbay on the Solus temple.

Pffff. Ratchet. Ratchet gets pissed off by sunrises.

[Like a force of nature.]

[He may just be steepling his claws in approved 'ex-cellent' fashion.]

Medbay. What? You contagious or something?

... Yes actually.

I have a condition that makes me spray corrosive acid at random.

[Fucking with robots is fun.]

Hnnngh. [Because he loves that idea so much you don't even know.]

Hope you save some for me.

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vandalization - 2012-08-05 00:01 (UTC) - Expand

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[video] fdggdhjfasjdf whirl oh god

[video]i warned you he was terrible

[video] I think you mean DELIGHTFUL

[video] you say that now

[video] I say that forever

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