re_alignment | Sugar High [A.K.A

[The camera is shaking so violently, those of you with motion sickness problems may need to go find a toilet. It's shaking because Dirge is holding it and he's shaking too. The screen catches a blurry grin before the communicator is tossed onto something solid.]

Okay I knew human food was good but I never got to taste all of it the last time and there's this stuff that I found in the junkyard called 'candy' and its loaded with sugar and sugar tastes AMAZING and its in other stuff too- hold on.

[He needs to stop and take a deep breath, because weirdly enough he can't talk non stop as a human without this burning sensation in his chest.]

Anyhow there was these brown bags with all different colored little circles with an 'm' on them and also a couple of boxes of these squishy square things named Debbies and they're so good even when you mix the two together OH AND DON'T FORGET THE ROLLS OF WHITE MUSH I CAN FIT THREE OF THOSE IN MY MOUTH AT ONCE BECAUSE I AM THE KING OF TWINKI- .....

U...urgh... [He doubles over suddenly, clutching at his midsection.]

H-hold on again.

[Dirge lurches off camera and there's the sound of...yup, wretching. Candy wrappers and empty boxes of snack cakes litter the ground behind where the jet turned human had been standing.]

OH WOW ITS EVERY COLOR!

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That's your heart. It keeps everything in your whole body running properly. You're lucky it didn't explode.

Oh, I just did it y'make him twitch. So worth it.

E-explode?! It could have really done that? [Oh great, now its beating faster again. Dirge clutches his hands over his chest and whimpers.]

Hurry up!

If you'd eaten much more of that sugar it might have. [Scaring people straight is what he does.]

Oh calm down, you silly meatsack. [There's a loud meow as he picks his way through the Junk Pile. Have a black and white cat trotting towards you, Dirge.]

Being a human is really scary sometimes. [And confusing.] They must die accidentally a lot.

[Dirge is laying on his back on one of the piles. He waves in the general direction of the meowing.]

Over here!

They do. They're so fragile. And f'r the time being so are you. [And Barricade more so.]

[Barricade meows again, hopping and darting around the junk to get to him. And once he's there, he... sits down next to him, tail waving a bit.]

How exactly do you keep getting into these messes?

That's the only thing I don't like about being one. [Sigh]

...Aw, you know why, Barricade. 'Cause of who I am. [Are cats as nice and soft as that little doggy he found? Dirge reaches out to test that and yep- very fluffy!]

Here I thought you wouldn't like the lack of wings. [You fliers and your sky.]

As your medic I'm obligated to ask anyway... prrt! [Yes Barricade is soft and also likes being petted. But he has to reach over and bat Dirge's nose once with his paw. ~~It's the closest to hitting him upside the head he can manage.~~] I'm also obligated to tell you to stop that. Not the petting, the other thing.

I don't like that much either, now that you mention it. [He'd scratch at his back but he doesn't really want to turn over. It might upset his stomach more.]

Ack! [Bopped by a kitty paw!] Stop what? Being myself? I've TRIED!

That's what I thought you said. But hopefully things'll be sorted out soon. I have it on good authority the FirstForged are working on it.

You are more than just your greed and gluttony, you know. [He retracts his paw and flops down beside Dirge.] You don't have to stop being you, you just have to focus on the other things that make you you.
Besides, the last time you stopped being you, you tried to convince me to turn you into a grounder and almost gave away all your possessions.

Oh really? That's good. Although I'll miss the food. [Wince] Okay... I'll miss moderate amounts of the food. [Ew, did he really just have to use that word?]

Not much more. I'm not exactly sure what else I am. What do you think? [Maybe he'll ask Cody too when he gets a chance.]

You are so fluffy. [He can't resist sitting up and pulling the cat into his lap. Pet pet pet.]

Mm, that's what I thought. Getting sick ain't fun at all, I know. [And hearing Dirge say 'moderate' is so worth it.]

Well, you showed up and rescued me from that centipede, didn't you? And I've seen you mourn at least one mech's passing before. Means you care about your friends, or at least your acquaintances. You learn from your mistakes, which is more than I c'n say for some mechs, myself included.

[He pauses, meowing in surprise. Oh, nice warm lap. He curls up, purring loudly. Oh keep doing that.] Nice change of pace from usual, huh?

It's painful and...liquidy. [Maybe he won't keep that jar after all.]

Yeah! That was fun! And then I flew you to a medic and you freaked out! Best part.

...I guess I do care about someone besides myself. Sometimes.

I don't know about that learning from mistakes part. That one is a 'sometimes' too. Pffft, and you don't even make any mistakes, Barricade.

[Whoa, Barricade is making a really cool sound. It sorta vibrates against him.] It is nice. But... [He tugs on the cat's tail with a snicker] ...I miss you tires.

Which is why you've gotta avoid it. [It's probably best if Dirge doesn't keep that, yeah.]

Hey, I happen to believe if I was meant to fly, I'd've been hatched with wings.

[Also flying terrifies him anyway.]

Okay, now you're just flatterin' me, Dirge. If I didn't make mistakes I wouldn't end up maimed so often. Or kidnapped. And even if it's just a 'sometimes' thing, it's still part of you.

[Prrrrprrrrrprrr-reow! Barricade yowls when his tail is pulled, claws extending briefly.] Only because you like my reaction to you squeezing or biting them.

Sugar High [A.K.A - Dirge no.]

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