[Video; Live from Nexus' temple!]

[uknowuwantmebaby]

(Hey there kids! It's Goldie the Golden Crow--actually no, it's just a golden duck-looking robot with a basket attached to his head. The robot fiddles with it before it comes on. Boy, this was sure a weird turn of events, huh? He was on the Satellite of Love and now some giant robots were telling him...something about a Cybertron, he didn't really pay attention.)

Testing...hello....?

(The robot taps the screen with one of his spindly arms...before shaking it.)

Oh cool! This must be one of those video dating things. (AHEM.)

Hello, my name is Crow T. Robot. I'm a Pisces with a moon in Capricorn. What can I say about myself that first impressions can't say?

Well, I'm in marketing, I have a condo in Boca Raton. I was number seven in the Fortune magazine's Top Richest People in America! I am intellectual yet simple, progressive yet have old fashioned values, I am macho but I keep in touch with my feminine side, I'm gentle but a tiger if you know what I mean raaaaaaawr.

In short? I am everything you want in a bot.

If you're interested, call....well uh.....just look for the weird templ-ish place in the middle of a crater! I'll be waiting!

Comments

( video )

[pendragon]

I'm afraid to inform you, but this is not quite a dating "thing." You're using the Link which allows all of us on Cybertron to communicate across distances.

[ The knight tilts her head slightly. ] You should have been told by an Acolyte that you are now on Cybetron, but.. [ Looks like Saber's done this before. She looks a bit dismayed. Many do not listen to the Acolytes, after all. ]

I'm called Saber, and I will offer you information should you want it.

( video )

[uknowuwantmebaby]

How embarrassing.

Oh you mean all that boring stuff those robot ladies were saying? They lost me when they said Cybertron.

Ok Saber Tooth Tiger, where is the dating service and two when do I get out.

[pendragon]

..[ The knight looks a tiny bit irritated, but Saber decides to take him seriously even though he may not be so serious himself. ] There is no dating service, and although many have tried, no one has been able to leave. I highly advise staying far from the Badlands. It seems none return.

[uknowuwantmebaby]

(Better get used to it, Saber.)

Well maybe if someone payed taxes, we might get a bus here!

Wow, the Badlands? Do they have the South Dakota Jimmy Dean Diner?!

[pendragon]

..The.. what? [ Have a blank stare. Although Saber understands your bus "joke," the South Dakota one goes right over her head.

After a short moment, the knight sighs. ] When you are seeking actual and more specific information, let me know and I will assist you to the best of my abilities.

[uknowuwantmebaby]

Boy, does anyone in South Dakota get out?

Cybertron must be one weird hick town.

[pendragon]

..South.. Dakota? Town..? [ A quick shake of her head, as if to clear the confusion. ] We're in the Haven on Cybertron, which is a very large planet. You're likely not in the reality you're from, still.

[uknowuwantmebaby]

A planet where South Dakota took over...I never though I'd see the day....

You know, this is exactly like the plot of Robot Holocaust.

[pendragon]

[ Congratulations, Crow. He's the first one to completely make Saber speechless. She has no idea what to say. The knight stares at the video feed blankly for a few moments. ] I.. see?

[uknowuwantmebaby]

Trust me, it's not a movie worth watching.