VIDEO;

[thehardway]

[Lo and behold, there's Ultra Magnus. He frowns, touching his helm lightly. Really, anyone who knows him well enough will note how he flinches ever so slightly.]

This is Ultra Magnus. I appear to be in the medbay. I would like to know the following answers.

First: Why am I here?

Second: What happened to me?

Third: How long was I out?

I would also like someone to update me on whatever I may have missed.

That is all.

Comments

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[sciencetank]

I do possess an understanding of basic medical routines and knowledge of Cybertronian anatomy. Not to mention, I had somewhat of a personal stake in the matter...

[BUT WE WON'T TALK ABOUT THAT.]

[Instead, he peers around one of the displays, regarding Magnus almost skeptically.]

You have an infection. Infestation. Whichever the proper term is -- I've never seen such a thing in my own universe, so. Forgive me if I'm not terribly precise.

In fact, I was forced to peruse the libraries here to even find a suitable designation for these... things... which I did, of course.

[Ahem.]

Nanocons, I believe they're called.

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[thehardway]

A personal...?

[WAIT WHAT.

He winces and shuts off his optics for a moment. That pain is increasing.]

Infestation... the nanocons?

Those should be offline. That doesn't make any sense.

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[sciencetank]

[And he ignores that first question, in favor of the more immediate issue.]

You'll have to explain in more detail once you've recovered. For the moment, however...

[PAUSE.]

... Smile, Commander.

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[thehardway]

Do what?

How do I...?

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[sciencetank]

Smile.

You shift your mouth in such a way as to express emotion other than blank disapproval, possibly joy, pleasure, or amusement.

I've utterly no idea why, but in testing to find the issue at hand, I have discovered that performing such an action results in said nanocons being destroyed.

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[thehardway]

[Very, very, very slowly, Ultra Magnus attempts to smile.

Oh, it's almost painful.

Per the scans, the nanocons are crushed by the rearrangement of Ultra Magnus's mouth, his expression destroying the little infestations.]

This is awful.

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[sciencetank]

[That worked better than he'd thought it would. Clearly, it was worth the research and testing and--]

[He peeks around the display again, to provide the good news.]

Primus!

[And ducks back behind it again.]

No wonder you don't do that often.

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[thehardway]

Hmph.

Can I stop this foul expression?

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[sciencetank]

As much as it suddenly pains me to say so... hold it a bit longer.

I want to run a few more scans to ensure the destruction was complete. Just. A few more moments.

And then, Primus willing, we can forget this ever happened.

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[thehardway]

This is the possibly the most humiliating thing I've ever endured.

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[sciencetank]

Oh calm down, it isn't as if anyone is watching. I'm certainly not.

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[thehardway]

Good. Then I will gladly forget this ever happened.

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[sciencetank]

... I envy your ability to do so.

[BEEP BOOP scans complete!]

[He slowly peers over the top of his screen.]

You're clear, Commander. Though, as much as it pains me to say, I would advise repeating the... action... should your headaches resume.

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[thehardway]

It pains you to say.

[This is awful. This is terrible. This is almost worse than turning into a cat.]

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[sciencetank]

Considering I had to witness it, yes. Though, admittedly, if it works, it works, I suppose.

I would suggest remaining here anyway, at least for a day or so, in case the current method of control fails.

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[thehardway]

Is it really necessary that I stay?

[There are law things to do!]

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[sciencetank]

You'll note I mentioned a day, at least.

... The current state of affairs can wait that long. You're no good to anyone tripping over your own feet and suffering massive processor damage.

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[thehardway]

Rung was murdered while I was unconscious.

[No. He should probably rest, but that will hang over his head.]

[deadlydoctor]

[Knock Out is saving this video and capturing that smile. It will do wonders for blackmail future use if he needs to cheer up. He's going to put that picture on a frame and everything.]

You got a dashing smile, Magnus sir.

[thehardway]

No further commentary necessary.

[deadlydoctor]

Do you have any idea how many bots would you charm if you did this more often? [Allow Knock Out to introduce you to the fine art of flirting, Magnus.]

[thehardway]

You assume that I have any interest in doing so.

[deadlydoctor]

You never know, you might end liking it. It's all about giving things a try.

[thehardway]

It would be terrible.

[deadlydoctor]

Why do you say that? Sure you can't be that bad at it.