[Audio] Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in Liege's temple.

[my_own_trope]

[Guess who just woke up from his 3-month coma? Furthermore, guess whose body managed to finagle itself out of prison where it was seen last?
If you guessed this sleeping beauty, you're at least not wrong. Sorry about that, Haven, this asshole is back.
Don't worry, there was plenty of screaming involved; both upon waking, and then directed at nearby furniture and the sky in general.]

[The Audio opens with Starscream sounding like he's just run a marathon.]

Someone tell me what blasted day it is!


------------
[Locked to TFP Megatron]

My Lord...?

------------
[Locked to TFP Shockwave]

Do you still live?

------------
[Locked to TFP Knock Out]

I think it's about time we had a talk. [And now he sounds mad]

Comments

[my_own_trope]

There must be some mistake, I've-
Wait.
Are people still pretending it is the human equivalent of your "September" or whatever it was?

[glass_secret]

September? What rock have you been hiding under?

Last I checked it was mid December.

[my_own_trope]

How far away from September is that?

[glass_secret]

Lets put it this way, October and November are in between the two.

[my_own_trope]

I imagine they've all got the same amount of days, then?

[He's trying not to have some sort of panic attack]

[glass_secret]

Not really. October has thirty one days.

[my_own_trope]

Close enough!

...

[Don't freak out, Starscream, I'm sure there's a completely logical explanation for WHERE THE LAST 3 MONTHS OF YOUR LIFE WENT]

So. What d'I miss?

[glass_secret]

I arrived!~

Oh, and there was this big pillar thing of doom in the middle of the junkpile but now it's gone.

[my_own_trope]

What?

[glass_secret]

What part's tripping you up? Me arriving or the big pillar of doom?

[my_own_trope]

I don't care about you, human! What's this about a pillar now?

[glass_secret]

Rude!

Don't know much about the Pillar since it was already here when I arrived. What I do know is that it was bad news and that is disintegrated about a week ago.

[my_own_trope]

[Deadpan]

It wasn't purple, was it?

[Because EVERYTHING that's bad news in his canon seems to be purple and crystalline.]

[glass_secret]

Seriously? You're wondering what color it was?

I don't know. It looked black or dark grey but then I didn't get up close to it to be sure.

[my_own_trope]

I have a special hatred for certain objects of purple persuasion.

[glass_secret]

Oh? Let me guess, it makes you look fat and you're jealous when it looks good on other things.

[my_own_trope]

Don't be mistaken. I'd look good no matter what the colour.

What I've a particular distaste for is the type of purple material that will first erode the mind, and then seize you in its thrall.

[He also blames it for his poor interpersonal relationships]

[glass_secret]

Some how I don't believe the part about you looking good in any color, sweetie.

You may have a point, but I doubt the pillar would have been a tall glass of Purple Rain.

[my_own_trope]

[If only Starscream's problems were simply drinking problems.]

[Also, excuse YOU. He's got a body built for Milan's catwalks. And as it turns out, this is a terrible design when your end product was supposed to be a war machine.]

I'd tell you to reserve judgment until you have the opportunity to bask in my glory in person, but I'm hardly pressed to meet you. And for the record: you're as hideous as the rest of your species.

Purple rain is exactly what I'm talking about, except it's the crystal form that's the worst. No, scratch that, ANY form of Dark Energon should be thrown back into the chasm it came from.

[glass_secret]

If your looks match the screechy voice, I doubt I will be basking in any kind of glory. And it's obvious that you don't have any taste.

Didn't realize giant robots had their own versions of drugs and alcohol.

[my_own_trope]

You're one to talk about taste. You're the one who's nothing more than a walking sac of assorted mucus!

Drugs yes, though I don't expect you to know anything about that. As for alcohols, what makes those anything special? They're just hydroxyl compounds. They're everywhere.

[glass_secret]

Actually many species agree with my sense of fashion! All, except for trolls. Tell me, are you really a robotic troll?

You obviously never been to a party before where a lot of alcohol is consumed.

[my_own_trope]

Our definition of the word "troll" is no doubt at odds.

I'm trying to imagine you ingesting methanol. The outcome isn't pretty, believe me.

[glass_secret]

Wrong kind of alcohol, sweetie.

[my_own_trope]

Butenol? Propanol? Tetradecanol? Do I care?