Video~!

[0perator]

[Why hello yes that is an Alia wearing a face-eating pair of heart-shaped shutter shades and a very glittery pink feather boa. She grins into the video feed.]

Greetings, Haven!

[The feed pans out to take in Knock Out as well, red paintjob shinning red even more than usual for the occasion. He has some v-cards on his hand and a mischievous grin on his face. Alia waves.]

Valentine's Day is coming up, and for all the people who will be missing the festivities this year, Knock Out and I have scienced [shut up that is a verb now] a perfect solution for all your romance needs! We have perfected a one hundred and twenty percent accurate matchmaking algorithm, perfect for bringing some interest and excitement into your love life!

Now, if you're not up on your Earth cultural traditions, don't sweat! We have you covered!

[Knock Out nods and then chimes in.] Now, what’s that entire Valentine’s nonsense about, you might wonder? Valentine’s a human mating festivity that mixes different courting techniques. One of the most common ones is the exchange of little notes with romantics statements.

[Knock Out clears his throat and starts to read some of the cards. To help everybody to get into the spirit of valentine day, Alia and Knock Out left one v-card in front of everyone's room door. In fact, just to get into the real spirit of the holiday, all the v-cards conveniently sport the forged signatures of random people around Haven the best match according to that very scientific matchmaking algorithm. Feel free to find yours and thank them.]

Enjoy all that love in the air! 'Cause if you can't get laid on Valentine's Day, the other three hundred and sixty four days aren't looking too good either.

Comments

audio;

[thxforthememories]

... Match... making?

audio;

[deadlydoctor]

Yes, birdie. Shall I draw you a picture?

So, do you have a significant other already?

audio;

[thxforthememories]

No!

[He remembers the last time someone drew him a "picture". It wasn't pretty.]

... Significant other?

[deadlydoctor]

You almost sound worried about what I could draw.

[Oh Primus, who drew him a picture? Was it Kay? Nit like Knock Out would know about that.]

You know, the mech who makes your spark pulse. Or..whatever you have instead of a spark.

[thxforthememories]

I just don't need any pictures!

No. I don't know what you mean.

[deadlydoctor]

I have videos. What about those?

[Kagerou, honestly.] Do you have have a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Like somebody?

[thxforthememories]

I don't need those either!

[So much flustered.]

Not everyone needs those things. Boyfriend things.

[deadlydoctor]

How are you going to learn anything if you don't acquire more knowledge?

[It's so fun. Knock Out's having a great time.]

"Boyfriend things"...[Knock Out has to stop himself form doing air quotes.]What are you, a protoform? Those aren't things. And you didn't answer. Do you have one or do you like anybody?

[thxforthememories]

I already know enough.

That's not any of your business.

[deadlydoctor]

Not really.

[Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh that's a yes.] Do you want me to take guessed then? is it McCrane? Gunmax? Noh, he just arrived...ah, Power Joe!?

[thxforthememories]

Power Joe has a girlfriend.

[At least, he thinks he does, anyway. Wasn't he dating someone? How does that even work--]

It's still none of your business.

[deadlydoctor]

Oh right, Arcee wasn't it? Okay, not Bunny, not Gunmax because he told me he's single, McCrane's married to his word...Is it Deckard?

[Does Knock Out have to explain you about the birds and the bees?

He's going to ignore that.]

[thxforthememories]

There isn't anyone at all!

I don't have any interest in anyone. That's something living things can do. Not me.

Stop pushing this.

[Voice]

[0perator]

Yes~! Gotta have that special someone to knock boots with!

[Voice]

[thxforthememories]

I don't wear boots.

[0perator]

It's a euphemism.. you know, make the sex. Interface with. Recreationally do fun and interesting things that might void your warranty.

[thxforthememories]

I...

Why are you -- why would you say I needed that!

[shdfkds SO FLUSTERED.]

[0perator]

Well it's great for one's stress level, among other things.

Cuddling is fine too, though. No hating on cuddling.

[thxforthememories]

I'm not stressed! Not to need... the sex!

[0perator]

I would beg to differ. This place is as stressful as hell.

[thxforthememories]

That doesn't mean I need to... do that.

[0perator]

Awww, you sure you don't want to take advantage of our matchmaking service? Find you a nice smooshy love interest?

[thxforthememories]

I'm fine!

There's no one here I want... to smoosh.

[... liar. But no one needs to ever know that.]

[0perator]

Well that's no fun.

[thxforthememories]

I'm fine with it.