audio; 4/6 late night / early morning ish

[thxforthememories]

[It's probably around midnight or so when the post pops up. Or close enough to it that the effects of the red energon have finally worn off. He can touch things now. He's no longer a ghost.]

[And... still considerably unsettled and upset by recent events. Enough to make the following statement:]

I ... I want to learn how to be drunk.

[Because that seems like a great idea. It always worked for his role models around here, after all.]

Someone. Show me how. I'll be grateful.

[And that's all he says. He'll be at the bar, an unhappy pile of metal and wings. Waiting.]

Comments

[thxforthememories]

[He's just kind of laying there like a lump so those cubes aren't going anywhere.]

[He seems like he's listening.]

He's mad at me too. He told me to go away. So I did.

[Pause.]

I didn't. See Deckerd. That's weird.

[And then a thought occurs to him. Even though, dimly, he's grateful Gunmax is trying to be supportive and helpful. He'll thank him when he's sober.]

... Maybe. I'm a bad kisser. Maybe that's why he hates me now.

[badboybikerbot]

He told you to go away? Great, now I have another excuse to knock him out. You lucked out, though. He went absolutely insane for a while.

[Well he was going to keep bitching about Power Joe but uh]

A bad- No. No, that's stupid. That can't be it. And stop saying he hates you. He doesn't.

[thxforthememories]

Wh... why? What'd he do? Didn't I say not to hurt him? I said that, right?

[His head suddenly pops up, scattering those cubes.]

What if it is.

I need to.

[He peers at Gunmax.]

Test.

[badboybikerbot]

You did say that. And I haven't hurt him. But I really want to.

[FUCK THE CUBES. Gunmax is startled as fuck and tries to catch them. He kind of fails.]

Wh-test? Test what?

[thxforthememories]

You shouldn't. That's going to make it worse.

[He's still staring.]

Test kissing.

[badboybikerbot]

I think I'm okay with making it worse.

[Gunmax turns around to look behimd himself real quick because SURELY Kagerou isn't thinking what Gunmax is thnking he's thinking. He was staring at someone else right

RIGHT

fuck there was nobody there]

Uh. Y'know, I bet Shadowmaru wouldn't even know the difference between a good kiss and a bad kiss.

[thxforthememories]

[He jabs a finger across the table at him.]

No. No, we're. McCrane says we're family. And it needs -- not be worse. To not be worse.

[He blinks a few times, slowly sitting upright. He stares down at the table now, like he's thinking that one over.]

[And that's when he reaches to pick up an empty cube, staring at his reflection in one side.]

Maybe.

But.

Maybe --

[Kagerou what. You. Yes, he's going to kiss the goddamn cube. Or his reflection in the cube. Either way he's mashing his mouth up against it wow.]

[badboybikerbot]

Yeah well McCrane's like an old lady.

[OH THANK GOD. I mean it's weird looking but OH, THANK GOD.]

There you go, kiss a flat object. That'll work.

[no shut up]

[thxforthememories]

No, he's not a lady. Power Joe would date him if he was a lady.

[That makes total sense in his head.]

[And yes, he's. Trying to make out with that cube.]

[This is so awkward.]

[badboybikerbot]

No way man, I like to think McCrane has better taste in dating material than that. He's totally classy. Power Joe isn't classy.

[Man this is hilarious to watch. Trying not to laugh is incredibly difficult. BUT instead of laughing Gunmax is just gonna reach over and try to lower that dumb cube before Kagerou makes himself look even more like the biggest loser in the universe]

Look. Look, cut that out. You can practice on that cube all you want, but it's not going to give you any feedback.

[thxforthememories]

Classy. How is he classy. He's a crane.

[That made more sense in his head.]

[He lets Gunmax lower that cube, staring dumbly at him, like he's trying to figure out how the hell that happened.]

It's the only practice... thing.

[badboybikerbot]

[Apparently Drunkmax thinks that was the funniest thing he's ever heard in his life because heeee's laughing his dumb green ass off for a minute]

Hey. Hey. Look. Okay. Cranes can be classy too. But anyway, I meant personality-wise. He's a total gentleman. Whereas Power Joe has all the class of a drunken frat boy.

And no, that's totally not gonna work, see? If you're gonna practice somethin' like that, it has to be on a person. So you can get feedback, see?

[thxforthememories]

Oh. He's a gentleman. Who's a crane. A crane... tleman.

[You tried, Kagerou.]

There's not anybody else I want to kiss though!

[badboybikerbot]

Hah! A cranetleman! I like it!

[you did try and gunmax approves]

Maybe. Listen. Listen. Maybe we just need to find someone who's got experience and just ask 'em for pointers. Y'know like. Advice. That way you don't have to kiss anyone else or make out with your. Square. Cube. Thing,

[thxforthememories]

You do?

[Wow he looks so happy. You'd think he just won a prize or something.]

Well. Okay.

But who's kissed a lot? I don't know. Do you know? Do we ask?

[badboybikerbot]

It's the best. It is the best.

[GOOD BE HAPPY STOP MOPING.]

I. Have no idea. Shit. We could just start like messaging people. And asking.

[thxforthememories]

Good. I like it when I do good.

[Since it happens so rarely woo.]

Is that a good idea?

[badboybikerbot]

Hell yeah. We need to do this more often. We're making so awesome progress here.

[see you know you're cool when captain coolmax wants to hang out with you]

I bet it's not. I bet it's a terrible idea.

I'm gonna do it anyway.

[thxforthememories]

We are? We are! We. Are!

[Yeah look how excited he's getting aw yeah.]

...

Okay.

[And clearly he's in no mental condition to act responsibly here. He just sits back, watching. And drinking.]

[badboybikerbot]

Hell yeah! HELL YEAH! Yo! More'a these things!

[YEAH he's totally waggling an empty cube at a bartender BRING IT ON BABY]

But yeah, man! Totally askin' people. All the people. Or maybe just a few of them.

[thxforthememories]

... Hell yeah. Yes!

[He's going to copy him. Right down to the Engrish. Oops.]

Like who? Who are we asking?

[badboybikerbot]

[FUCK. YES. COOLEST PARROT EVER.]

Ah. Uhh. Pfffff... Uhhh... I guess I could ask Deckard and McCrane. Maybe that other blue dude. And the red one.... man, why don't I know more people? Wait wait, why don't I like more people?

[thxforthememories]

Because you're the... loner type.

And you don't trust anybody but you never told me why. Because you'd always say... grow up Kagebird.

But I think I did. I think I did that.

You should call them.

[badboybikerbot]

You what? Grew up? Then I'll let you in on a secret. People are scum.

But yeah, totally gonna call 'em. As soon as I remember how to do things with my fingers again.

[thxforthememories]

What? Why are they scum? Why?

[He nods sagely.]

You poke buttons and things happen. That's how you do things.