re_alignment | [audio]

Tch, think you're hot stuff, huh?

[don't you do bird tricks in front of gunmax you showoff. It's gonna make Gunmax wanna show off. Which he does by popping a sweet wheelie and nudging kagerou's dumb bird butt with his front tire]

[There's an unhappy bird screech, but he doesn't retaliate. He just flies faster, hopefully out of tire range.]

[Though he does glance over his shoulder with a glower.]

[Gunmax just laughs and gives Kagerou a little salute, dropping the tire back to the ground.]

Whaaat, baby? I'm just playin'!

Pay more attention to where you're going.

[As he swings his head back around, taking his own advice, clearly.]

It can be dangerous, the further you go.

Psh. You know how many accidents I've gotten into?

Maybe three or so, but still! I got this! What's dangerous,m anyway? I don't see anything.

The further out you go, the higher the chance you'll find something from the badlands.

[Another glance back at him, as they start passing through a fairly rocky, hilly area.]

So keep an eye out.

[oh don't tell him that it's just going to make him smirk]

Cool.

[YOU BET YOUR ASS HIS EYES ARE OUT he wants to see something CRAZY]

It's not--

[Yeah, well, he won't have long to wait. Out of one of the hills, something just bursts up from the rocks, scattering smaller bits of stone all over the place.]

[It... sort of looks like a centipede on robotics and steroids. It's huge.]

[And it makes a sound like an overflowing teakettle as it sets what look like giant eyes on the motorcycle.]

[You were saying?]

NOT COOL!

[NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE IT'S LOOKING THIS WAY DON'T LOOK THIS WAY

TIME TO VEER OFF IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION AND HOPE IT DOESN'T WANT TO EAT A BIG MOTORCYCLE]

I told you!

[Since this is clearly the time for that discussion.]

[He changes direction, heading straight up instead of forward, transforming as he goes. The Centipede Monster, however, seems far more interested in this motorcycle business though, turning to charge after the bike like a berserk locomotive.]

YES, you were right, thank you!

[WELL as long as the damn thing wasn't after Kagerou. That was swell. THIS STILL SUCKED THOUGH. Gunmax started weaving between some of the larger rocks, trying to at least slow the thing down. good luck loser]

Where are you going!

[And while Gunmax is of the mind to try and lead it away, Kagerou is of the mind they should be sticking together. To fight it.]

[... partly because he should have known better than to bring them near the Badlands, but still.]

[He starts swooping at it, like a sparrow would a much larger enemy bird, all the while it starts charging straight through the rocks, in pursuit of Gunmax.]

Beats me!

[Ooooh it's just smashing through the rocks Gunmax really should have expected that. Well since he was just full of good ideas today, he whips his shotgun out and starts firing at the damn thing. While avoiding smashing into rocks. MULTITASKING]

Don't get separated!

[Okay enough with the bird business. He transforms, drawing his sword and attempting to harass the monster from above, diving wildly at it.]

[The monster is less than thrilled, screeching and lunging at Gunmax for daring to shoot at it.]

Easy for you to say! It's not trying to eat you!

[He does whip the bike back around, though, zipping past the critter's head and hoping it can't make sharp turns. He just needs to stall it long enough to get his armor on. That's the plan anyway, assuming the thing doesn't snap around and chomp his bike in half or something]

[It does try to chomp the bike in half. But, before its head slams down, there's a sword interposed between its jaws and the bike. Buying Gunmax a few seconds to get out of the way. Which, of course, lasts all of a few seconds before one stab of the blade gets the sword stuck into the hard carapace.]

[And gets the ninja tossed into a rock. Hard.]

[WELL on the plus side Gunmax has a little time to equip his armor. On the not as plus side, now Kagerou's down and there's a giant mutant robot death bug still on the loose.]

Kagerou!

[Oooh shit Kagerou don't be hurt. Gunmax takes to the air because flying armor is awesome and unloads another round into the monster, trying to keep it's attention. The last thing he wants is for that thing to eat his birdbuddy and then have to explain to Shadowmaru why Kagerou is bugfood.]

[All the shooting just seems to piss the creature off. It lunges at the flying bot's foot this time, trying to clamp its jaws down around an ankle or lower leg. A few holes have appeared in the thick carapace, ichor oozing.]

[There's a groaning sound from the pile of rocks. So at least the bird's still alive.]

Get up, dammit!

[OK, Kagerou being alive was good. SUPER good. It was great. Focusing on Kagerou instead of the monster chomping down on his ankle probably wasn't all that good. It had only chomped into the armor, but Gunmax was still wedged into this thing's jaws pretty good. Oooh goody. Gunmax reloaded and blasted the thing in the face. It that wasn't enough to free himself, he was going to have to do something drastic and possibly 100% stupid. He didn't need that leg anyway. He could still fly the both of them out of there without it if he had to.

Y'know, so long as he didn't get eaten.]

[Another groan, and some vague stirring. But nothing more. The crash rang his bell pretty good.]

[The creature shrieks like a piece of metal being torn. The gunshot took it clean in one eye. There's a horrible hissing sound out of it as fluids spurt as if from a firehose. It shakes its head violently, dragging its head and the trapped robot in its jaws against the rocks. Which only succeeds in damaging its face further. It releases Gunmax with another scream, curling and writhing in on itself. It appears to have gone utterly mad with agony.]

[Good shot, Gunmax.]

[Its thrashing goes more wild, unaware of what it might be smacking its head against, howling as it moves.]

[Gunmax yells fuckwords at it until it finally releases him. And then he yells fuckwords at it AFTER it releases him. He continues to spew fuckwords even while dodging the damn thing and invents new fuckwords when he sees how many pieces of his armor -of his fucking bike- the thing knocked off him when it smooshed him into the rocks. He finally stops regurgitating fuckwords when he reaches Kagerou and quickly checks him over for damage, looking over his shoulder to see if the stupid thing is still after them.]

[The beastie appears unbothered by the streams of profanity. Possibly because it's in the worst pain ever. It's body arches and contorts, screaming louder still. It makes an undulating motion and actually vomits up a few pieces of leg and armor before its cries turn to hisses. There's one last violent contortion of its body, and then it dives. Straight through the rock. Vanishing from sight.]

[Which is precisely when birdbrain stirs, coughing dust and oil from a split lip. His parts are all there, though his chest is dented and cracked, one wing hanging at a funny angle. He peers blearily at Gunmax, his gaze unfocused.]

Did... you win?

[Gunmax lets out the most dramatic sigh of relief ever. He's still obsessively checking Kagerou for damage because he's secretly really super worried]

If getting a lucky shot in and the thing totally pussing out counts, then yeah. Totally won. I mean, it banged me up real good, but... Ah geez.

[YEAH Gunmax took a look at himself. He was kind of a gigantic mess with his trashed armor and gnarled up leg and HIS POOR ANTENNA GOT BENT NO. But damn poor Gunbike.]

I mean. Yeah. Totally won. You okay?

[There's a very faint smile. One that cracks his already split lip a bit more. The damages are clearly visible, and painful, but nothing life-threatening. His head is spinning, though, and he remains lying where he is.]

Pussing... out. I don't know that.

[Another blink. A slow squint. There's a hand gesture that probably was a concerned point except his hand isn't quite listening to him. Yay head injury.]

You're all... you're slime.

Means it ran off like a gigantic wimp. Don't think too hard about it, buddy.

[now that the immediate danger had passed, Gunmax let himself relax a bit. And laugh at Kagerou's observation. oh slime.]

Slime and oil and who knows what else is leakin' out of me. Come on, let's go get patched up. Can you walk?

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