re_alignment | one ember | [multimedia post]

[This starts out as a video of someone in a leather jacket and a somewhat intimidating helmet. It looks like the helmet and jacket have seen better days, by which we mean somebody's pretty clearly been through an explosion. An observant person might be able to tell by the background that this is somewhere in Megatronus' temple]

-- wasn't making them that big before. Jesus christ. I have to-- OH HELL NO. NO VIDEO YOU BASTARD

[the device is hurled across the room and shorts out. The audio's still working though]

Where's the mic? Even Wily doesn't make his shit this complica--------

[and that's the audio broken. There's nothing for a while, then, oh look, text from the same source]

holy hell my head hurts
okay listen up wily if your here i dont believe your robots shit about this being some other planet
that is seriously the stupidest bullshit youv ever fed this city and you hv fed us some stupid bullshit
i mean aliens really wily
you tried that once and nobody thought it was cool

so tgeres a few opsions:

1. robot lied and im dead this seems unlikely because my head is fucking the worst
2. this is some part of wilys complex that id didnt wknow about and hes toying with me (this seems liegit) (wouldn't put it past you to have this tech) (but in that case wow i am more fucked than i thought)
3. this is the future womehow and veryones dead adn i failed and robots are everywhere and whatever
4. it was telling the truth and this si some alien planet where robots run everything

everything is terrible and everything hurts
why am i debating this in the opn where he can see it
i mean you can see it
o yea concussion
and i am pretty sure my blood is moslyt alcohol atm

if this is another planet have you invented a hangover cure yet also a cure for concossions because yeah

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[............uh.

Raf's deciding video is best for this.]

...I'm not sure who 'Wily' is, but I'm pretty sure that he has nothing to do with this. As for a concussion cure...I can ask Ratchet if he's developed anything yet

dont use video kids ist the took of the man
he can see you through the screens you know
facts

and what the hell do you mean you dont know who wily is
he put you up to this didnt he

...is this better?

[beat]

No, really. I don't know who he is. I doubt he's here, anyway - there's been nobody on the Link by that name, at least nobody who's made any sort of transmission.

no you aren't getting it he
no you're clearly a plant why am i even listening to you
he runs the whole city
he build this underround complex or something i dunno maybe it was to fulfil his weird fetish for clean lines
point being
youre just being like OH YEAH ITS ALIENS FOR REAL
what did he promise you extra rations or something
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa my head

how the hell did he get me away from the explosion though the last thin i remember is going off a 200 ft drop
hmm
which just brings me right back around to dead
and if im dead this is the shittiest afterlife ever
there isnt even any beer

[okay Raf just

Raf is just

Raf has no idea how to respond to any of this but he'll try anyway]

I actually got over the 'aliens for real' part a few months before I came here.

Number four.

BOW TO YOUR NEW ROBOT OVERLORD.

[Whirl will wait. Go on, genuflect.]

COME HERE MOTHERFUCKER I GOT A CROWBAR WITH YOUR NAME ON IT

Yeah? [He likes how rage fixes your typing. Who says anger is useless? Oh, right, Rung.]

I'd have fifty rounds with your name on them but I don't care enough to know what your name fraggin' is.

[And clearly, they are going to be besties.]

[Joe's concussion has gotten worse, so now the video is on, but... kind of just pointing at... empty space. But you can hear him, at least.]

Tha's better be rounds of beer, asshole, since when do robots use guns anyway. Real robots use knives. Like men. You know that helmet? That is a robot head. From a robot I murdered.

I will make hats of you all.

are you even TRYING

[Raf, you're PROBABLY going to have to ask someone to come get him

At this point, he accidentially turns the video function back on. He's got his helmet off finally and he looks... well, awful. Bloody nose, two black eyes, pretty bad burns around his neck. Also, his pupils are WAY dialated

Someone is not doing so hot.]

Oh FUCK I thought I disabled that thing you clever... you. Right.

[Now he's just going to sit on down and kind of drop the recorder. Yeah he. Meant to do that.

He fumbles with it again and manages to turn the thing away from him]

[oh geez oh geez that]

You're hurt!

[oh wait 200ft drop what

how do you even surprise you know what maybe he shouldn't ask]

I can call you a medic! Where are you?

Edited 2012-09-04 03:16 (UTC)

[ Yeah. Whirl's in terror of what you can do with a crowbar when you can't even find your own face with a camera.]

Then real 'men' are stupid and don't appreciate ranged weapons. [Like Whirl's personality. Lethal to 30 yards.]

Yeah? You don't mind if I record that whole robot murder confession thing and report it to the ROBOT POLICE, do you?

[Oh he's learned a few tricks from Empurata. Number one: use the police to do your dirty work.]

I dunno, small child probably working for Doctor Wily, where the hell am I?

...

[If he plays along, will Wily get him asprin NO THAT IS THE THOUGHTS OF THE ENEMY but asprin sounds so great]

I dunno it's big and cavernous and dark with volcano stuff.

... Which is weird, 'cause last time I checked there were no volcanoes in Tennessee.

[he flips the thing over and points it at a symbol on a wall. Yeah that's Megatronus all right.]

Dunno if that means anything to ya.

Tell every last robot police in the city man, let 'em quake in fear.

I told you, I don't even know-you know what. Nevermind. You're probably too drunk to believe me.

[excuse him while he just. pings Ratchet on to this frequency]

More like 'let 'em double over laughing' at the Mad Hatter and his crowbar sidekick.

[It's true: he ships you and the crowbar.]

[Consider Ratchet pinged. He hasn't seen any of this post yet, though, so he's a bit confused, kiddo.]

Raf? What's wrong? Are you damaged?

I'm not.

I think he is, though. He says he fell two hundred feet...

I didn't hit the ground, I just got hit with a pretty big C-4 blaOHGOD WHY IS IT SO BIG!?
NOPE

Crowbar is my best friend and you best not sass her. Shit, Mad Hatter is a great name. You can call me that. I'm the Mad Hatter of the City and I got my trusty Quake the Motorbike and Kalinka the Crowbar.

Yeah, I think it's best you seek medical attention, because I think you're malfunctioning at an abnormally fast rate here.

[excellent observation Ambulon, in fact he's switched to audio because he can't quite make the keys hold still]

Like anyone in this fucking place is going to help me. I just blew up the whole damn tower. Not that it did anything, I think. I don't know. Everything's confusing.

[So...the crowbar tops, obviously.]

...that all you got? Frag. Robots must be lame where you're from.

[Plus the motorbike thing? Totally ripping off Gunmax. Whirl likes Gunmax. ...sorta. Leading to this stunning conclusion:]

You're a fraggin' robot poseur. You hate us because you wanna be us.

[Rung would be proud!]

Holy shit, he's managed to program snark algorithms into you or something.

Do you have jump jets? I'm so putting those on my bike.

HEY, nobody programs slag into me.

...yeah sorry. I've got my quota of being felt up by disgusting xenos for the month. Try again next month.

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one ember | [multimedia post]

[video]

text;

[voice] there should be a period at the end up there :|

text; you said to the person who makes nine million typos?

[voice] THEY'RE NOT IC FOR RAF OKAY

[Video] I apologize

text; | DO NOT APOLOGIZE

VIDEOOOOOOOOOO BRING IT YOU DAFT PUNK REJECT

video; daft punk please, we are queen rejects :vb

text;

[voice]

video; /dying

[voice]

video; LOOK THEY ARE BEST FRIENZ you watch out whirl your head his his favorite kind of hat

[voice]

video; so he likes the 'desklamp' look? tres chic

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

video; it is the hot look this season tru fax

[audio]

[audio]

video; clearly looking at you you are the expert on fashion

video; yes

video