001; video.

[stickshiftittotheman]

[The camera cuts in on Mike, hands on the wheel and foot on the gas. It's kind of loud in here, too! Which, if you look at the merrily neon-green holo-speedometer, is because he's coasting along at 250 miles per gatdamn hour.]

Okay, so half an hour into total barren wasteland and the Duke pulling some wacko "Mike Chilton versus Aliens on the Moon" prank is looking way less likely. Which means I ammmmm... on another planet, talking to whoever's on the other end of this Link thing.

Right. I have no idea how I managed to fall through dimensions in the middle of the night. That is... kind of a new one for me. Anybody out there in radioland want to give me some layman's term answers? The welcoming party here was kind of chilly.

I really hope you guys have gas here. Getting Mutt here down the mountain was kinda rough drivi--

[He cuts off mid-sentence, having just blasted the car right over the top of one of the spires of rock jutting out of the ground.]

Comments

text;

[lightupthenight]

[you know what they didn't have in Joe's city: cars you were allowed to drive yourself]

[And certainly not cars that FUCKING SWEET]

[also the speed limit was "grandmotherly" by which we mean 30 mph]

holy

shit

you have a sweet car
and you are the sort of man who drives his car at ridiculous speeds
by which i mean awesome speeds
and launches it off things
awesomely
also you are not a robot

you are now my new best friend
hi mike im joe weller i like classic jams queen and doing incredibly stupid things with motorcycles and overthrowing the government

permavoice;

[stickshiftittotheman]

What, no date first?

I'm Mike Chilton, I dig speed metal, pulling stunts with my car, and fighting an evil dictator. Looks like there might be something to that best friend thing, huh?

video;

[lightupthenight]

[Mike you seem cool so Joe will actually do Video for you]

Fighting evil dictators? What a coincidence, I do the same thing.

well now it's permavideo so these idiots can smirk at each other

[stickshiftittotheman]

See, I'd say awesome, but evil dictators are sort of the opposite of awesome.

Don't tell me yours is all about the murder robots too.

alas that I have but one smirking icon

[lightupthenight]

Oh man, let me tell you about this asshole's murder robots.

Actually, he only had one murder robot that he actively used, though I'm sure he has a whole goddamn army hiding in his basement. Thing was, everybody in the city was so fucking scared of this one murder robot that it was all he needed. Each one of 'em so terrified of either dying or losing the precious conveniences of the non-murder robots and shiny super clean tech that kept everything running that not a single one of 'em realized that they've all forgotten how to live.

Anyway, I totally destroyed that murder robot with nothin but a crowbar and my wits. I took his head for a helmet!

[he holds up said helmet. HE IS SO PROUD OF THIS]

Man and here everyone on this planet keeps telling me that oh, I'm sure the robots here aren't murder robots, and everything's fine, and stop being so paranoid but let me tell you about goddamn murder robots.

[stickshiftittotheman]

[Yyyyeah, this is sounding pretty familiar. Mike's face darkens accordingly. 'Forgotten how to live' especially strikes a chord.]

Nice! Sweet helmet, too.

That sure sounds like back home. A while back this guy called Kane took over. Built his own city right on top of everyone and filled it with his 'bots. He's... not so big on the whole freedom thing, either.

[And this is the part where Mike really realizes that the Burners are back there, possibly fighting Kane off without him.] ... Sure hope the others are doing okay holding him off on their own.

[lightupthenight]

... holy shit, Wily did the same thing, sorta. I mean, in our case he actually bulldozed the buildings and had his robots recycle the parts for new structures, but you can still find bits of the old city if you dig deep enough.

Others? ... you had others, helping you? Damn, I only had one old dude named Doctor Light; he was Wily's former partner 'fore he got betrayed.

Are you like, alternate universe me, or something?