001; video.

[stickshiftittotheman]

[The camera cuts in on Mike, hands on the wheel and foot on the gas. It's kind of loud in here, too! Which, if you look at the merrily neon-green holo-speedometer, is because he's coasting along at 250 miles per gatdamn hour.]

Okay, so half an hour into total barren wasteland and the Duke pulling some wacko "Mike Chilton versus Aliens on the Moon" prank is looking way less likely. Which means I ammmmm... on another planet, talking to whoever's on the other end of this Link thing.

Right. I have no idea how I managed to fall through dimensions in the middle of the night. That is... kind of a new one for me. Anybody out there in radioland want to give me some layman's term answers? The welcoming party here was kind of chilly.

I really hope you guys have gas here. Getting Mutt here down the mountain was kinda rough drivi--

[He cuts off mid-sentence, having just blasted the car right over the top of one of the spires of rock jutting out of the ground.]

Comments

[Video]

[littlecrowgirl]

[Where does she even begin to start with you, mister. Speeding...reckless driving...]

NO TALKING ON THE PHONE WHILE DRIVING!!

[Or that.]

permavideo;

[stickshiftittotheman]

[WELL THAT WASN'T REALLY WHAT HE EXPECTED TO BE CALLED ON]

Dude, it's handsfree! Swear!

[littlecrowgirl]

It better be! If you hit someone's dog I am going to smack you SO hard.

[Wait. Car.]

Is that your car...?

[stickshiftittotheman]

[See Mike. See Mike light up at the chance to brag on Mutt.]

I only built her myself, I should sure hope she is.

[littlecrowgirl]

[Instant 180 with this girl.]

Whoa...

[stickshiftittotheman]

Man, I'm just glad she was here. I'm not seeing any spare frames lying around.

Or... much of anything lying around. Is there anything to see out here besides rocks, rocks, and more rocks?

[littlecrowgirl]

Oh ho ho~

This is Cybertron! Home of the giant shapeshifting-into-vehicle-robots!

[She'll just let you take that all in.]

[Video]

[kingofthetvworld]

You left a party cold?! Now that's just rude, you could've at least tossed them a blanket!

[Thanks to recent drama, anything even remotely involving parties gets him a little stirred up. Oops.]

Video

[ex_dishonestly997]

Watch the rocks.

[yeah Starscream that was hella helpful]

Plenty of energon. Not so much gas.

[Voice]

[whirlybird_of_prey]

Or you took some really bad hallucinogens. [Whirl has a point.]

Or maybe really good ones.

[video]

[tearsofsteel]

Some planet called Cybertron. If no one tipped you off, there's a lot of robots here.

[stickshiftittotheman]

[GASP

He looks... pretty okay with that, actually.]

I'm gonna guess the giant robots live in the giant temples?

[He eyes the outside terrain. See again: rocks, rocks, and more rocks.] Might be time for me to head back and say hi, then.

permavideo;

[stickshiftittotheman]

[He laughs, but it's not patronizing.] Not that literal. Don't worry, everybody's warm, little guy...?

[Mike doesn't want to ask what he is, that is rood. He's just going to figure adorable robot.]

permavideo;

[stickshiftittotheman]

Great!

[Beat.]

... okay, so what's energon?

[kingofthetvworld]

[At least someone has some manners around here.]

...Rrright! Right, I knew that. Heheh...

[stickshiftittotheman]

Hey, I getcha. It was a pretty good joke.

[Mike's got your back, Teddie.]

[kingofthetvworld]

[His ears twitch.]

Huh? A joke...? I mean, yes! It was a joke! Haha, I'm so glad someone understands my comedic genius.

[But enough about that.]

So did you find out this is Cybertrain yet?

[stickshiftittotheman]

I heard it was Cybertron, yeah. I'm gonna guess those are the same thing?

permavideo;

[stickshiftittotheman]

We're not talking the kind of robots that want to laser me to death, right?

permavideo;

[stickshiftittotheman]

Nooot really my thing.

'Sides. With some of the stuff that happens to me every week? Me taking drugs is probably less likely than being on another planet.

[kingofthetvworld]

Wha? That doesn't make any sense, what the heck is a tron? Someone clearly doesn't have their facts straight.

[Right... someone.]

CHAIN COMMENT YEAR

[lightupthenight]

[lightupthenight]

[holy shit]

text;

[lightupthenight]

[you know what they didn't have in Joe's city: cars you were allowed to drive yourself]

[And certainly not cars that FUCKING SWEET]

[also the speed limit was "grandmotherly" by which we mean 30 mph]

holy

shit

you have a sweet car
and you are the sort of man who drives his car at ridiculous speeds
by which i mean awesome speeds
and launches it off things
awesomely
also you are not a robot

you are now my new best friend
hi mike im joe weller i like classic jams queen and doing incredibly stupid things with motorcycles and overthrowing the government

permavoice;

[stickshiftittotheman]

What, no date first?

I'm Mike Chilton, I dig speed metal, pulling stunts with my car, and fighting an evil dictator. Looks like there might be something to that best friend thing, huh?