re_alignment | [Voice]

Entry tags:

✘ dead space | vandal

[Voice]

So guys? Uh. Look. Two out of three of you are aware, but.

I guess while there's not some huge disaster going on we could talk about. Stuff?

I kind of have a thing. For all three of you. Surpriiiiise Percy... And uh. Look I know I kinda flipped out last time, but I'm starting to feel better and I'd like to discuss it.

I kinda got into this thinking all of you were an item, but I realized I was mistaken. That. Still doesn't change the fact that I'm really kind of into you all in a big way.

I just wanna know if I'm barking up the wrong tree or... yeah.

And before any of you say it, I don't wanna 'do better'. Can't change how I feel.

God fucking damn I'm so awkward.

I just wanna talk about it, I'm not saying you have to... do anything or make me happy or whatever, I just.

Haha, I guess I don't know what I want. I just want to get it out there, because it's been the elephant in the room for me for a while, you know?

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What good would it do? He's made up his mind. He didn't want to ask back then; he doesn't want to ask now.

We should respect that.

Hasn't he made up his mind based off misinformation? Maybe he doesn't know that he needs to ask?

I won't force you Drift, but it saddens me that you'd loose a friend over this.

I don't want to force him either. But we can at least open the door, make an opportunity.

He's made up his mind. [End of story.]

There's no real reason. Besides, if it comes to it, he should have Vandal. I've taken enough from him. I think the less damage I do the better.

[Wing stays true to his word, and won't force you.]

At the very least though, regarding the part that concerns myself, I have a right to clear the air yes? Can you fault me for trying to...?

[He just wants to do right by everyone, finding a happy medium though, is a trick.]

[A soft sigh.] What is it you've taken?

What part concerns you?

[He doesn't see it.]

Apparently, I've made him unhappy. You'll have to ask him. [Since he can tell you will anyway, regardless of what Drift wants.] It's not mine to tell.

Edited 2013-01-04 04:13 (UTC)

It wasn't an issue until he found out about you and I. I'd say that makes me a key part of the equation.

[Considering if Wing weren't in it, there'd be no issue.]

Do you mean that?

[Drift just shakes his head. He has no power here. ]

Do what you're going to do.

I-- Look I'm sorry. I don't understand why you're so against this?

I just don't want there to be awkwardness between me and someone I barely know.

[He rubs a hand over his face.]

Drift there's one other thing...

So you'd rather awkwardness between you and me.

No, Wing, there's nothing else to talk about. You're tired. You get so 'frustrated' talking to me.

[He shrugs, hating the idea that he's some sort of fragile child they have to walk on eggshells around. ] Go be with Vandal.

[His face shifts to something more deeply concerned and he flicks on the video feed, imploring.]

Drift, no. Please tell me why this bothers you.

[But then he stops at the abrupt turn of the conversation.]

[If this is Drift's way of proving the point, he's doing a fine job of it.]

Well, I was going to offer an apology, but. Perhaps you should let me know what's on your mind first? [In case he needs to make an addendumn.]

If you can't figure out why I could possibly find this whole thing--besides being discussed like some fragile patient--embarrassing, then I don't even know what to tell you, Wing.

[Maybe their frames of reference really are too different. Maybe Wing's just never been publicly humiliated by people he loves before. Drift doesn't know.]

There's nothing you need to apologize for.

Patient? Why would--? [He's really confused now. He thought maybe he knew, but it's getting convoluted now... He shakes his head, as if trying to clear it.]

I don't want to embarrass you Drift, no. It's a simple miscommunication. I--unless there's more to it? [A pleading look. He just wants to understand so he can make things right for all parties and avoid more suffering.]

We're talking about more than just Perceptor now aren't we?

Is this about Vandal and I?

[It certainly doesn't seem that way, Drift is clearly upset, but the accusations are cryptic and Wing knows better than to offer apologies without knowing the source: they just come off as desperate and insincere.]

Maybe. You should lock your feeds.

[That's all he's going to say.]

And what about Vandal and you. Since you brought it up.

[A restive shuffle of his flight panels as he sits quietly, optics full of conflicting emotions.]

Drift, I... [He vents.] It's just the four of us here, I thought... I thought all of you were friends at least. I thought things should be open among us... [He frowns.] _{I should have locked it once I got into my own insecurities...}

[His helm bows as he looks away, clearly abashed. "It's okay to not be okay Wing," Vandal had said.]

I've hidden nothing from you Drift. I care about her a great deal, but you've always come first.

No. I don't think we're friends, not all of us. As to what things should be? [He shrugs. Sort of pointless to wish.]

It's not my business. I'm sorry for asking.

I...assumed. I'm sorry.

More than that...I'm sorry that I hurt you.

[If he could change it, take it upon himself, he would.]

It is Drift.

I told her I wouldn't. Not unless I knew you were comfortable with it. But beyond that, I know you're special, more important to her in ways that I'm not. I wanted, hoped, you'd come first for her too. I want you both to be happy.

[He shrugs] I'll be fine. Don't worry. [Stupid emotions. One day he'll find a way to do without them or control them or something.]

Wing. I just... [He hesitates and then locks the feed. ] You're...everything to me. I can't--I don't want anything to jeopardize that. [His voice is shaking, as he speaks.]

I'll find a way to make it up to you regardless. [Do that and you'll be Ultra Magnus Lite.]

[As Drift speaks, some deep, unnamed emotion breaks over Wing's face.]

Drift... I want to be that for you. Always. Even if sometimes I fail at it. [The words spill from his vocalizer, naked and humble, like a desperate offering and apology in one.] ...I'm open to a lot of things, but whatever we do with this, whatever happens, I don't want to lose you.

You don't fail at it, ever, Wing. Just be...you. That's more than enough. You've never failed. At anything.

[At least to Drift.]

[He blinks, but then there's a soft smile, clearly touched by the unconditional acceptance in the light of so many recent events.]

Drift...

...but I still stumble and fall... I still lose my way and have to go in search of answers. And I know I've let you down...

[He knows that some of his ways require the pedestal he's placed on in life, but he also knows he cannot occupy it all of the time.]

I want to be there to catch you, then, when you stumble. [It's probably a stupid metaphor, but the blue intensity of his optics make it at least sincere.]

[He sighs. ] Wing. I don't want to be jealous. But I want..I guess I'm weak. I need some...something. Some assurance that, I don't know. I'm.._special .

[He looks away, at the ceiling, the ground, anywhere other than Wing's face, feeling so petty and childish that it almost burns.]

[A trembling smile, because stupid metaphor or not, it's more than he dare ask for but clearly what he needs.] _{...even if end up hurting you in the process?}

[It's certainly not weak. In fact it's welcome because it's a need Drift has that Wing will gladly meet.]

Drift.

...where are you?

[This isn't something for the Link though, no.]

Edited 2013-01-06 07:23 (UTC)

Been hurt before. Always healed. [It's a terrible joke, but the core is true: he can handle being hurt, better than he can handle Wing shutting him out.]

...my room. Why?

Hopefully it won't have to be that way. [There's always been something in Drift's stoicism that Wing's both envied and admired.] I'm sorry though...I always feel bad about putting my burdens on others. Especially those with plenty of their own.

[A smile, warm, like a gift offered.] Because wanting reassurance isn't weak.

It's wise.

Can I come see you? Please?

Wing. It's not a burden to be trusted by you. [The words could be more elegant, he thinks, but he means it.]

..if you want?

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