Drift (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sword_redemption) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
re_alignment2013-03-15 09:37 am
sword_redemption) wrote in re_alignment2013-03-15 09:37 am
Entry tags:
[video]
[In light of Dr McCoy's recent how to be a human download, Drift's decided that as someone who has survived--barely--the experience himself, he could offer some advice of his own. Slightly less snark-flavored.]
Right. So.
Er.
[CONFESSION TIME.]
I, uh, I spent some time as a human. Before. And so, well.
[A shrug. Get to the point, Drift.]
You have to chew this 'food' stuff. [Trust him on this.]
Canned peaches are good but you should only eat them with an expert. Utensils will take, uh, lots of practice.
Pants are....horrible. So are skirts.
[Don't get him started on hats.]
Hope your clothing has pockets. These things, trust me, don't have onboard storage. [DON'T ASK.]
Shoes feel weird--you can't feel the ground, really. But you should probably wear them. Especially in the Junk Pile.
[Let's all give Vandal a vote for sainthood for having put up with Drift and these valuable lessons.]
Right. So.
Er.
[CONFESSION TIME.]
I, uh, I spent some time as a human. Before. And so, well.
[A shrug. Get to the point, Drift.]
You have to chew this 'food' stuff. [Trust him on this.]
Canned peaches are good but you should only eat them with an expert. Utensils will take, uh, lots of practice.
Pants are....horrible. So are skirts.
[Don't get him started on hats.]
Hope your clothing has pockets. These things, trust me, don't have onboard storage. [DON'T ASK.]
Shoes feel weird--you can't feel the ground, really. But you should probably wear them. Especially in the Junk Pile.
[Let's all give Vandal a vote for sainthood for having put up with Drift and these valuable lessons.]
[Video]
Uh-huh--- [And, sorry, give him a moment as he can't keep that laughter in and it just explodes everywhere.
...
Okay, done.]
Well, pfft, if you were you oughta know they've got some! [That's a leer, because Primus bless, this is way too funny. Even if the image is disgusting as well, because yuck squishy humans and their bodily fluids.
He's relieved he hasn't changed!]
[Video]
No. That? That's, uh, not for storage.
Found out the...you know what? Just trust me on this, okay?
[Keep laughing, Skywarp. ONE DAY.]
[Video]
That's--- [And then Drift says that and he can't keep it up and breaks down into vertiable gales of laughter.]
That is a disgusting image, Autobot! [And yet he keeps laughing.] But hey, considerin' the amount of crap they like to do, it could just as well be for storage!
[Have you seen their porn, Drift? Have you?]
[Video]
[Because yeah 'disgusting' kind of covers it.]
...they do?
[Drift don't ask that. You don't want to know.]
[Video]
[Snickering, though.]
Oh, sure.
[Skywarp shrugs and teasing Drift or not, doesn't really want to think about the glimpses he's caught or read from their TV broadcasts, or when the internet started blooming.]