re_alignment | Sugar High [A.K.A

Entry tags:

✘ tf: animated | dirge (crau)

Sugar High [A.K.A - Dirge no.]

[The camera is shaking so violently, those of you with motion sickness problems may need to go find a toilet. It's shaking because Dirge is holding it and he's shaking too. The screen catches a blurry grin before the communicator is tossed onto something solid.]

Okay I knew human food was good but I never got to taste all of it the last time and there's this stuff that I found in the junkyard called 'candy' and its loaded with sugar and sugar tastes AMAZING and its in other stuff too- hold on.

[He needs to stop and take a deep breath, because weirdly enough he can't talk non stop as a human without this burning sensation in his chest.]

Anyhow there was these brown bags with all different colored little circles with an 'm' on them and also a couple of boxes of these squishy square things named Debbies and they're so good even when you mix the two together OH AND DON'T FORGET THE ROLLS OF WHITE MUSH I CAN FIT THREE OF THOSE IN MY MOUTH AT ONCE BECAUSE I AM THE KING OF TWINKI- .....

U...urgh... [He doubles over suddenly, clutching at his midsection.]

H-hold on again.

[Dirge lurches off camera and there's the sound of...yup, wretching. Candy wrappers and empty boxes of snack cakes litter the ground behind where the jet turned human had been standing.]

OH WOW ITS EVERY COLOR!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Is that you, Barricade? No no no I feel fine, the hole in my tank is all gone! Even if that... really hasn't helped keep stuff in.

I'm pretty sure this is food, it has ingredients on it and everything. Mostly sugar ingredients.

How come human food keeps making me sick anyhow? At least it came up pretty though, right? Wanna see the puddle?

It is. The hole in your tank might be gone - thankfully - but you're eating too much of something that humans can't process in large doses.

That puddle is your body rejecting it. I know it tastes good, but stop eating so much sugar.

You sound like Blurr on fastforward.

Well why doesn't it say anything on the package about that? [Practically pounces on a empty candy wrapper and examines it.]

Oo, ow, I can't read this. My head hurts. [He flicks it away.]

Do I really have to stop? I already threw up- maybe I am done now?

Because the manufacturers are monsters. [He does not have the best feelings for corporations.]

Yes you have to stop. If you keep eating them it'll keep happening.

Just, stay where you're at, but don't eat anything, I'm gonna come find you. When you see a black and white cat, that's... Me.

[Gah, so weird to say that ~~AT ALL~~ to people he knows.]

[Dirge opens his mouth to argue but a gurgle of protest from his upset stomach has him thinking twice.]

....Okay. I guess this a lot like last time, isn't it? [Last time was fast food and it hadn't gotten him so hyper but it had definitely made his belly ache the same way.]

A...cat? Really? How are you gonna help me as a cat?

Except that the last time it was grease and not sugar that upset your stomach. You've got to balance this stuff when you're human, parakeet.

[Mmm... parakeet. No! Focus!]

If you try to eat to much again, I can bite you. But if nothing else, I can keep you company and maybe keep you out of trouble.

Why is everything bad for me?! How do humans manage to eat all the time without getting sick? Human stomachs are STUPID.

[Don't mind that little tantrum, he's just sugar crashing. He's just gonna give his midsection a sour look and plop down on a pile of junk.]

Ugh.... I guess that's useful. [Slowly lays down.]

What's a parakeet?

Which is why it knows better than your brain what it should be eating. Just stay there, I'll be there soon-ish. We'll get you back to Solus's temple or somethin'.

They're little birds. Very colorful.

Because its stupid?

[Frown] But I'm not little. I mean... I guess I am right now.

What's it say about you, that it keeps revolting against what you put in it? You've gotta be smarter than your organs, Dirge. Don't give it copious amounts of one type of food.

It's more the colorful part than the size part. [He calls Megatron 'Sparrow', after all.] And that they fly.

[A fierce blush rises to his cheeks. He doesn't like his incompetence pointed out, especially not by Barricade.]

...I guess I'll just have to find some different kind of food then too.

[Sighs and squirms, trying to get comfortable on the junk. It's not easy with such a soft body.]

Oh. I guess that makes sense. Took you long enough to give me a nickname. [Pout]

[Barricade eases his tone a little bit. No need to make Dirge's body swap harder than he has to.]

They've got a pantry for food at the bar, I think. Shouldn't be too hard to find something. Just consider this a lesson in restraint; too much sugar is bad for you, but so is too much broccoli.

Hey, sometimes they take a while. You're a tough mech t'nickname.

Broccoli is a funny word. [Snerk.]

Am I? I guess Blackout always just called me 'jet'.

Heh. Suppose it is at that.

Rotor-butt never was much about nicknames. Hated when I gave them to him.

Mn... think that loud thing in my chest is finally starting to slow down...

Ha! That's why you shouldn't waste nice things on Blackout!

That's your heart. It keeps everything in your whole body running properly. You're lucky it didn't explode.

Oh, I just did it y'make him twitch. So worth it.

E-explode?! It could have really done that? [Oh great, now its beating faster again. Dirge clutches his hands over his chest and whimpers.]

Hurry up!

If you'd eaten much more of that sugar it might have. [Scaring people straight is what he does.]

Oh calm down, you silly meatsack. [There's a loud meow as he picks his way through the Junk Pile. Have a black and white cat trotting towards you, Dirge.]

Being a human is really scary sometimes. [And confusing.] They must die accidentally a lot.

[Dirge is laying on his back on one of the piles. He waves in the general direction of the meowing.]

Over here!

They do. They're so fragile. And f'r the time being so are you. [And Barricade more so.]

[Barricade meows again, hopping and darting around the junk to get to him. And once he's there, he... sits down next to him, tail waving a bit.]

How exactly do you keep getting into these messes?

That's the only thing I don't like about being one. [Sigh]

...Aw, you know why, Barricade. 'Cause of who I am. [Are cats as nice and soft as that little doggy he found? Dirge reaches out to test that and yep- very fluffy!]

Here I thought you wouldn't like the lack of wings. [You fliers and your sky.]

As your medic I'm obligated to ask anyway... prrt! [Yes Barricade is soft and also likes being petted. But he has to reach over and bat Dirge's nose once with his paw. ~~It's the closest to hitting him upside the head he can manage.~~] I'm also obligated to tell you to stop that. Not the petting, the other thing.

I don't like that much either, now that you mention it. [He'd scratch at his back but he doesn't really want to turn over. It might upset his stomach more.]

Ack! [Bopped by a kitty paw!] Stop what? Being myself? I've TRIED!

That's what I thought you said. But hopefully things'll be sorted out soon. I have it on good authority the FirstForged are working on it.

You are more than just your greed and gluttony, you know. [He retracts his paw and flops down beside Dirge.] You don't have to stop being you, you just have to focus on the other things that make you you.
Besides, the last time you stopped being you, you tried to convince me to turn you into a grounder and almost gave away all your possessions.

Oh really? That's good. Although I'll miss the food. [Wince] Okay... I'll miss moderate amounts of the food. [Ew, did he really just have to use that word?]

Not much more. I'm not exactly sure what else I am. What do you think? [Maybe he'll ask Cody too when he gets a chance.]

You are so fluffy. [He can't resist sitting up and pulling the cat into his lap. Pet pet pet.]

Sugar High [A.K.A - Dirge no.]

Re: audio;

audio;

Re: audio;

audio;

Re: audio;

audio;

Re: audio;

audio;

Re: audio;

audio;

Re: audio;

audio;

Re: audio;

audio;

Re: audio;

audio;

Re: audio;

audio;

Re: audio;

action;

Re: action;

action;

Re: action;

action;

Re: action;

action;

Re: action;

action;