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Why... why do you want to know so badly...?

I'm safe.

I'm sorry.

Isn't that enough?

Because you're part of the team, and teammates look after each other. Especially at a time like this.

I'm not angry, Kagerou. I know that wasn't you. Just like it wasn't me who did what the other one was put through.

I just . . .

Don't stay away too long, all right?

[It's not his place to try to force the ninjabot. But what's not enough for him is not knowing where he stands anymore. Again. Not knowing if this whole fucked-up mess has ruined things before he ever had a real chance.]

How can you say I'm part of your team after... after all of that?

How do you know it wasn't me?

What if...

[He trails off, curling in on himself further, not that it can actually be seen. Everything is wrong and terrifying.]

[He wants Shadowmaru. Wants him so badly... Or Rung. Or Perceptor. Or Soundwave. Someone he could latch onto and hold onto until things sorted themselves out.]

... I need space.

. . . I just do.

[It's the only answer he can think of. It's quiet, and there's an undertone of grief. Whatever happened, it hurt a LOT of people, in so very many ways. He wishes he could make it all right again, but he knows he can't.]

I understand. Just be sure to come back when you're ready. Please don't shut us out. I'll understand if you want nothing to do with me, but McCrane and Power Joe . . . they've been worried about you too, and I know they want to help. Don't shut them out completely.

I don't understand.

[He really doesn't. How can anything be erased -- how can anything be as it was? How can they just forgive like this?]

... Wouldn't it be better, if I did? If... you all were left alone, without...

That.

No. Just the opposite. We'd be left with memories we don't want, with no chance to replace with them with newer, better ones. That's not how we'd want to remember you, Kagerou, wondering where you are and if you're okay. Knowing that you probably aren't.

Think of it this way. You have retained the other robot's memories, right? So you have his memories of another me, too? [He doesn't know details, nor does he need to. He doesn't /want/ to. But he feels he learned enough to make this point, at least.] Is that the last thing you'd want to know of me? Or of McCrane, or Power Joe? Are those the experiences you want to hold in your heart? You'll never forget them completely, but if you don't let go of them, if you don't combat them with new memories, then you'll never heal from them either.

You don't want that. And we don't want that for you. Or for ourselves. Yuuta told me once that one of the hardest things to do is to keep going, to get back up when we've been knocked down so hard we don't think we can bear it. But we have to. And we can get back up. Even if it means accepting a little bit of a hand to get us started again.

I'm fine. I'm... secure. Everything is safer here.

[There's a sudden, sharp "inhalation". He's shaking his head rapidly. Even though it can't be seen.]

Please don't. Talk about those memories. They aren't mine. They aren't me. I... I don't want them! I don't want to think about them!

[He trails off into silence.]

...

I can't do anything right now. I can't... I don't want to move right now. I don't know how to make any of this make sense. How to make it right.

How can I accept any help, after all of that!

[Deckard has never hurt as much as he can guess Kagerou is hurting right now. He's BEEN hurt, make no mistake, but he won't pretend to think he's been as deeply hurt as this. He can't even begin to compare, and he knows it. That doesn't mean he won't try to empathize, or to help.]

That's my point. They're not you. That. Wasn't. You. And that is why I can say that you... are still part of the team.

[He pauses for a second. This is the point he'd be pulling a deep breath, if he breathed at all.]

Better question . . . how can you not?

I want to help, Kagerou. I don't know how - I wish I did - but I want to. If you'll have me.

[And he'd understand if you won't. He really would. But he needs to know that you'll turn to /someone/ at least. Then he'd know you're at least in good hands.]

[There's nothing for a while. Just soft, almost whimpering sounds. He's trying to hold them back, but they tear their way out of him.]

[How can anyone want to be around him. Let alone want to help him. After what happened...]

[What if that's really part of him? What if... what if that's some kind of awful future?]

...

I don't know how anyone can help. Or... how anyone can help.

If there's a way, let's find out together.

Coordinates, Kagerou?

[There's no command, just a quiet question. He won't force the robot, but he can at least try one more time.]

[There's a long silence. A long hesitation. He's so sure he can't make this right again. Especially not to someone once charged with hunting him down...]

[The coordinates finally come. In silence.]

[Maybe once this has blown over and they've gotten past it - WAY past - they can joke about being even now...]

[Deckard waits tensely for an answer, any answer. The silence is worrisome, but the coordinates are enough.]

Thank you. I'll be there shortly.

[And he races out, getting into the area in vehicle form, then changing back and looking around.]

Kagerou?

[There's no answer. There's only the side of Trion's temple. For a while, there's... just silence. No movement, no words.]

[A wing flicks, overhead, from one of the window ledges, where Kagerou has literally wedged himself into the smallest space possible.]

[It's still damaged.]

[And he's still silent. But he's there.]

Kagerou?

[Has the ninjabot moved on? Changed his mind, not willing to see Deckard after all? He moves around, searching the entire area as best he can. He knows when Shadowmaru's upset, he likes to get up high –rooftops, bridges, things like that. If Kagerou's anything like his "brother" . . . ]

[Deckard nearly misses the twitch, but then he focuses closer. Thank goodness, there he is. The Brave offers a small grin, hands spread.]

Without J-Decker, I'm afraid I can't fly to meet you up there. What room is that behind you?

[So long as the wounded bot promises not to bolt as soon as Deckard goes inside, now that he's been found.]

[There's a silence. And then a shrug. He doesn't know. Part of him recognizes he needs to grow up, get down there, and get this over with.]

[So after another silence, he raises his voice.]

I don't know. I... will come down.

[In just a second. He has to inch out from the ledge he's wedged himself into. But he will, eventually, come down off it.]

[And stand with his back to the wall of the temple, his optics downcast, though his chin is lifted.]

[The ninjabot is silent for long enough that Deckard starts looking for a way to climb up to the window ledge, more willing to scale the wall and risk falling than "abandon" the other robot to try to find his way up there from the inside. Then the soft words, and he nods, waiting patiently.]

[It's painful to watch the other robot work himself free and drop down, beyond the sight of the obvious injuries. Deckard wants to pull Kagerou into a hug, but . . . he remembers how the robot had tensed before and doesn't want to alarm or offend him. He's afraid of saying the wrong thing and driving him away so, for the moment, he just settles for a hand lightly gripping the ninjabot's shoulder. He hopes it's taken for the attempt at support that it's meant to be as he tries to come up with something to say, something to do…some /way/ to help.]

[He keeps his optics averted. He can hold his head up, he can keep his wings from flattening down. He can make his stance as calm and confident as possible. But he can't bring himself to meet the BP leader's stare.]

[His expression is closed, withdrawn.]

[And it only shifts into something else when his shoulder is touched. Surprise.]

What...?

[He offers a small smile, shaking his head.]

Just glad to see you. Thank you for having me.

[He lets his hand drop as he shifts a step away, motioning at the ground and wall between them.]

Sit with me?

[And he'll take the initiative, settling with his back to the wall. The view here is actually rather nice - they can see the lake from here. It's peaceful, and he's hoping it will help put the other at a little more ease.]

Glad to see me.

[He repeats it quietly, like he's having a hard time processing how it could be possible.]

[He doesn't say much of anything, as the other sits, and hesitates, for a long, silent moment, before making his move.]

[Which is to sit, slowly, carefully. A few feet away from him.]

Yes. Very.

[The words come without hesitation, spoken softly but firm with sincerity.]

I don't turn my back on anyone easily, if at all. Especially if it's a teammate.

[He waits for Kagerou to settle, watching him almost more by periphery than directly, so as not to seem to "make" him do anything by expectation. He waits a few before speaking again to see if Kagerou will first, to let him lead the conversation if he wants or is able, though he'll speak up in a moment if the other doesn't.]

Mm. I see.

[It's a noncommittal answer. He knows it. He knows he should say more. But the words just don't come. So he draws his knees to his chest, resting his chin on top of them, arms looped around them.]

[Huddled. As if chilled.]

[His gaze remains fixed forward. What does he even say to this?]

[Deckard wants to reach out to his shoulder again, making that supportive contact, but Kagerou sat just far enough away that for him to do so, he'd have to shift closer, moving into the space the other left between them. He won't do that, at least not yet, for now honoring the fact that Kagerou's let him here at all.]

[After another beat, he asks quietly.]

Will you share with me some of what's been going through your mind?

[He doesn't know how to help if he doesn't know for sure what he's combating. He's not willing to guess or make assumptions at this point.]

[The noise he makes isn't really a laugh. It's too weak to be one. Too weak and too bitter. A low, damaged sound.]

[He shakes his head slowly.]

[His wings shiver, almost folding around him.]

I don't know how to even begin.

[Deckard thinks for a moment.]

...you asked me earlier how I know that wasn't you before. You you, this you. [He catches himself from saying "the real you" - if barely - as he understands the other versions of everyone were just as real...like it or not...] You started to say "what if"?

[Even if it's upset and rambly at first, scared, even angry, he's hoping that if he can help Kagerou /voice/ the fears and doubts, maybe they can start to work through and past them.]

[His arms tighten around himself.]

But it's the same. That... person. They wanted to be more than just a prototype. And I... [There's a crackle of static. His voice breaks.] ... I wanted that. I wanted it too.

[So what does that mean for him? Does that mean he's going to end up like... is that his future?]

[He shudders to think of it. Literally. He never wants to hurt the one who mattered most to him. Never. The thought makes his AI spark with something like sickness.]

[What if I end up that way, because of what I wanted.]

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