[Audio] Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in Liege's temple.

[my_own_trope]

[Guess who just woke up from his 3-month coma? Furthermore, guess whose body managed to finagle itself out of prison where it was seen last?
If you guessed this sleeping beauty, you're at least not wrong. Sorry about that, Haven, this asshole is back.
Don't worry, there was plenty of screaming involved; both upon waking, and then directed at nearby furniture and the sky in general.]

[The Audio opens with Starscream sounding like he's just run a marathon.]

Someone tell me what blasted day it is!


------------
[Locked to TFP Megatron]

My Lord...?

------------
[Locked to TFP Shockwave]

Do you still live?

------------
[Locked to TFP Knock Out]

I think it's about time we had a talk. [And now he sounds mad]

Comments

audio;

[redshirtrobot]

How did I know you weren't dead?

[He knew they should have lit your body on fire just in case DX]

Is Fracas without a mask and still in new paint?

[my_own_trope]

[Who are you? You looks sorta familiar... but not really???]

That's a good question. How DID you know?

[Because right now he doesn't know ANYTHING. IS THIS THE REAL WORLD? OR IS THIS JUST FANTASY?]

Indeed he is! Forever de-masked and teal

[redshirtrobot]

[It's the sarcasm isn't it. Or them having spoken before. It's totally that and not at all the general shape of his... him.]

Because somehow you've always come back despite the odds.

[And despite Megatron. AND YOUR ZOMBIE-MAKING WAYS.]

[my_own_trope]

[Give him a break, he's still reeling over all the BEES IN HIS BRAIN. Nothing is MAKING ANY SENSE RIGHT NOW.]

Wait, I remember you. You're one of Megatron's 'cons. That would explain why you know me. And yes, it's true, I am known for my daring escapes from the brink of deactivation~.

[DON'T. JUST DON'T. DON'T EVEN GET HIM STARTED ON ZOMBIES. Sob]

[redshirtrobot]

[As long as it keeps him alive he's not about to question the whole 'he doesn't recognize me as a Vehicon' thing. He is totally okay with that.]

I am. Or well. Was. He's gone missing again.

I've heard it's usually more 'falling to your knees and begging forgiveness from Megatron' than daring escapes, actually.

[my_own_trope]

[You guys only come in 2 colours okay? Whitish and Purplish. Teal is just unheard of.]

Again? Ugh.
Did he at least seem... himself the last you saw him? [And not spouting nonsense about destroying worlds... well, more than the usual.]

You've heard wrong.

[redshirtrobot]

[Exactly. And that is why he likes being teal.]

As much himself as he usually is. Actually. He was looking into joining the police force.
[Which would have been bizarre but also interesting.]

So the stories about you fleeing from battle screaming are wrong too? 'Cause I've heard those.

I also heard you hid in a closet with Knock Out while zombies ate half the crew.

[my_own_trope]

[That doesn't sound right, but, at least it sounds less WRONG then: "RWARRBLE GARBLE DESTROY UNIVERSES I AM LE UNICRON."]

If that's the case, things certainly could have been worse.

[> Knock Out
> Enter tons of conflicting feelings... that mostly consist of rage
> Also... it looks like that really happened too??]

And what do you know about these terrorcons?

[redshirtrobot]

Honestly we could use more Decepticons on the police force. As it is it's a bit anti-'con rights.

[Yyyyyyep. And Fracas is still mad about that.]

That you and Knock Out experimented on Breakdown and his bot-eating corpse escaped. Also that you and Knock Out didn't do anything to fix the situation so the vehicons and insecticons had to deal with it.
Until Airachnid took the insecticons and left so we'd have like. No hope of ever winning against the Autobots.

[... This mad, apparently.]

[my_own_trope]

You're on the police force now? How long?

That is a GROSS exaggeration! None of that would have happened if not for Knock Out's unprofessional conduct!

[redshirtrobot]

Me? A cop? Yeah right. I'm too busy with road construction to be on the police force.

Funny. He said it was your idea.

[my_own_trope]

How like him. It was he who administered the overdose of Synth-En. If he'd just kept the dosages low like I'd told him to, none of that would have happened!

[And Pscream would still be Megatron's favourite... he tell himself.]

[redshirtrobot]

Or it would have happened anyway and we'd still be having this conversation. And we'd still get our afts handed to us by the Autobots.

[He's totally gonna surrender first. Maybe they won't horribly murder him if he gives up.]

[my_own_trope]

Hardly. If Knock Out had listened to his commanding officer he'd have saved the majority of the army.

[You were literally MADE to be murdered horribly. It's bound to happen one way or another.]

[redshirtrobot]

If he'd listened to his commanding officer he wouldn't have done it at all because he would have told Megatron. Or Shockwave, for that matter.

[Sorry, he likes living too much to die. Besides, the Autobots here haven't been too bad.]

[my_own_trope]

I- WE did that for the benefit of Lord Megatron!

[But it was supposed to be a surprise present. Because reasons.]

And Shockwave in NO WAY outranks me.

[redshirtrobot]

But Shockwave is the officer in charge of science, isn't he? And whatever you did was a science experiment.

[So Shockwave should have been notified. Duh.]

So you were dabbling in his area of expertise and he should have been notified to make sure the area was secure.

[my_own_trope]

He is, was, in charge of science, but I was in charge of all matters military! When building new recruits, that more than falls into my jurisdiction.

[redshirtrobot]

The Predacons were new recruits but you weren't in charge of developing them. Because they were a science project.

The same as the zombies should have been so they didn't eat the whole crew.

[my_own_trope]

[> Predacons
> *Shiver*]

The Predacons were a failed experiment!

[redshirtrobot]

It didn't seem very "failed" to me. Of course I never saw it in person.

[Since it, y'know, was a giant dragon and hadn't turned into not a giant dragon yet.]

[my_own_trope]

Then count yourself lucky!

Not even the "brilliant" Shockwave foresaw how colossal a failure his beast was.

[Starscream, for the record, would love to point out that he'd totally called it.]

[redshirtrobot]

Did it explode or something?
Did it get infected by your zombie plague too?

[Because he could see that happening. Their luck is completely and utterly terrible after all.]

It also turned out to be sentient. God. What a disaster.

[my_own_trope]

If ONLY it had exploded.

Instead it named itself and then turned traitor.

That's what you get for hitting your dog, it stands up and tells you off.

[redshirtrobot]

Well... that's not so bad, actually.

[Hey he's happy for anyone that manages to successfully get out of the system anymore. A+ giant scary prehistoric fire-breathing monster. A+.]

If it had exploded we'd probably all be dead.