Video~!

[0perator]

[Why hello yes that is an Alia wearing a face-eating pair of heart-shaped shutter shades and a very glittery pink feather boa. She grins into the video feed.]

Greetings, Haven!

[The feed pans out to take in Knock Out as well, red paintjob shinning red even more than usual for the occasion. He has some v-cards on his hand and a mischievous grin on his face. Alia waves.]

Valentine's Day is coming up, and for all the people who will be missing the festivities this year, Knock Out and I have scienced [shut up that is a verb now] a perfect solution for all your romance needs! We have perfected a one hundred and twenty percent accurate matchmaking algorithm, perfect for bringing some interest and excitement into your love life!

Now, if you're not up on your Earth cultural traditions, don't sweat! We have you covered!

[Knock Out nods and then chimes in.] Now, what’s that entire Valentine’s nonsense about, you might wonder? Valentine’s a human mating festivity that mixes different courting techniques. One of the most common ones is the exchange of little notes with romantics statements.

[Knock Out clears his throat and starts to read some of the cards. To help everybody to get into the spirit of valentine day, Alia and Knock Out left one v-card in front of everyone's room door. In fact, just to get into the real spirit of the holiday, all the v-cards conveniently sport the forged signatures of random people around Haven the best match according to that very scientific matchmaking algorithm. Feel free to find yours and thank them.]

Enjoy all that love in the air! 'Cause if you can't get laid on Valentine's Day, the other three hundred and sixty four days aren't looking too good either.

Comments

video;

[loyalflier]

I question this algorithm, if it even exists.

[Video]

[0perator]

Aw, whyever for?

[Video]

[loyalflier]

Is it not obvious?

[0perator]

What's wrong with a little love and peace?

[loyalflier]

It is wrong when the aim isn't quite sewing seeds of love and peace.

[0perator]

What's wrong with a little trolling between friends?

[loyalflier]

Nothing, as long as it doesn't get out of hand.

[0perator]

Eh, people can always hang up and burn the card. [She shrugs. Really, guys.]

[loyalflier]

True, but you know how some can be.

[0perator]

All the more reason for certain bots to loosen up. That much stress isn't good for anybody.

[loyalflier]

It's not as if they are going to be sporting any grey from too much stress.

[0perator]

Still not a great thing in the whole "not going crazy" department.

[loyalflier]

Perhaps... Though I would have thought pranks would be April Fools.

video;

[deadlydoctor]

It does.

video;

[loyalflier]

[ yeah he's not making the connection quite yet. ]

And how does this work as a means to "perfect" matchmaking?

Re: video;

[deadlydoctor]

[Primus bless your innocence.]

It's a perfect algorithm, we worked really hard on it. [For about fifteen seconds.] Don't tell me a scientist like you can't understand it.

video;

[loyalflier]

Belittling my intelligence doesn't explain how this formula is supposed to relate to matchmaking.

Re: video;

[deadlydoctor]

Wait, you were being serious?

Read the last line again while tilting your head. It should be clearer then.

video;

[loyalflier]

Why would I...

[ there's a sigh and you can even see that he's doing as instructed. then it dawns on him and you can't quite see that he's rolling his optics with a groan, but he is. ]

...

video; > change to text but only for this

[deadlydoctor]

[Knock Out's grinning before typing:-]

I<3u.

video;

[loyalflier]

Cute, Knock Out.

[ and he just has a hand over his face. shaking his helm. ]

video;

[deadlydoctor]

Thanks, I try.

[Knock Out chuckles at that.] Relax, Starscream. It's supposed to be a happy day.

video;

[loyalflier]

Yet you see fit to make mischief.

[ at least it's not a scolding tone yes? ]

Re: video;

[deadlydoctor]

Only harmless mischief. [He can admit that much.]

Re: video;

[loyalflier]

Until a jealous lover catches wind.