audio; 4/6 late night / early morning ish

[thxforthememories]

[It's probably around midnight or so when the post pops up. Or close enough to it that the effects of the red energon have finally worn off. He can touch things now. He's no longer a ghost.]

[And... still considerably unsettled and upset by recent events. Enough to make the following statement:]

I ... I want to learn how to be drunk.

[Because that seems like a great idea. It always worked for his role models around here, after all.]

Someone. Show me how. I'll be grateful.

[And that's all he says. He'll be at the bar, an unhappy pile of metal and wings. Waiting.]

Comments

[badboybikerbot]

You know what, I like words. Bring on the words.

[uh

nope more nervous glancing around the room. Seriously HOW did this manage to get so AWKWARD.]

Ahum. Y-yeah. That's me. Mister Problem Solver.

[Fuck now he's going to feel like shit if he fucks this up. he is going to strangle Shadowmaru just for this.]

[thxforthememories]

I will. I will bring all the words.

[STARING INTENSIFIES.]

[He'll be remorseful later. Now he's just drunkenly grateful Gunmax is being so helpful.]

You're a good. Bot. Person. Thing.

[badboybikerbot]

[just sloooowly slides that visor into place yeaaaaaaaa stop staring.

not gonna complain about the praise though]

Hey, just trying to help a buddy out.

[thxforthememories]

[And he sloooooooooowly lays his face down on the table.]

You are.

Helping.

You are.

[badboybikerbot]

And you are drunk as hell.

[ha ha loser because clearly Gunmax is sober lol no. here kagerou have a head pat you drunk bastard]

[thxforthememories]

I am...?

[Man now he just sounds pitiful, head pats or no head pats.]

No wonder he hates me.

[badboybikerbot]

[DAMMIT. Now Gunmax is going to knock on his stupid metal head a couple times]

Why would anyone hate you for that? You're not the only one in here drinking this stuff, y'know? Look, I said he doesn't hate you. It's gonna be fiiiiiine, baby. Better than fine!

[thxforthememories]

[There's just one of those sad, muffled whining sounds from the dumb bird. He doesn't even pick his face off the table.]

I don't... know. It just seems.

It seems like. My life. Lately. Where nothing is fine.

[badboybikerbot]

[aaaaugh how pathetic how pitiful uuugh. poor guy.

Gunmax is going to start stacking cubes on Kagerou's head. After draining like two of them in one go.]

To be fair, everythin' was pretty weird for a little while. Power Joe short circuited or something and glued me to my wall, Deckard started climbing on buildings and acting like he wasn't a dork. This is all just a minor setback. This Shadowmaru thing? Slightly bigger setback, but totally repairable. Maybe everything isn't fine right now, but it's gonna be.

[Also his accent is getting even worse. Y'know. As if that were possible.]

[thxforthememories]

[He's just kind of laying there like a lump so those cubes aren't going anywhere.]

[He seems like he's listening.]

He's mad at me too. He told me to go away. So I did.

[Pause.]

I didn't. See Deckerd. That's weird.

[And then a thought occurs to him. Even though, dimly, he's grateful Gunmax is trying to be supportive and helpful. He'll thank him when he's sober.]

... Maybe. I'm a bad kisser. Maybe that's why he hates me now.

[badboybikerbot]

He told you to go away? Great, now I have another excuse to knock him out. You lucked out, though. He went absolutely insane for a while.

[Well he was going to keep bitching about Power Joe but uh]

A bad- No. No, that's stupid. That can't be it. And stop saying he hates you. He doesn't.

[thxforthememories]

Wh... why? What'd he do? Didn't I say not to hurt him? I said that, right?

[His head suddenly pops up, scattering those cubes.]

What if it is.

I need to.

[He peers at Gunmax.]

Test.

[badboybikerbot]

You did say that. And I haven't hurt him. But I really want to.

[FUCK THE CUBES. Gunmax is startled as fuck and tries to catch them. He kind of fails.]

Wh-test? Test what?

[thxforthememories]

You shouldn't. That's going to make it worse.

[He's still staring.]

Test kissing.

[badboybikerbot]

I think I'm okay with making it worse.

[Gunmax turns around to look behimd himself real quick because SURELY Kagerou isn't thinking what Gunmax is thnking he's thinking. He was staring at someone else right

RIGHT

fuck there was nobody there]

Uh. Y'know, I bet Shadowmaru wouldn't even know the difference between a good kiss and a bad kiss.

[thxforthememories]

[He jabs a finger across the table at him.]

No. No, we're. McCrane says we're family. And it needs -- not be worse. To not be worse.

[He blinks a few times, slowly sitting upright. He stares down at the table now, like he's thinking that one over.]

[And that's when he reaches to pick up an empty cube, staring at his reflection in one side.]

Maybe.

But.

Maybe --

[Kagerou what. You. Yes, he's going to kiss the goddamn cube. Or his reflection in the cube. Either way he's mashing his mouth up against it wow.]

[badboybikerbot]

Yeah well McCrane's like an old lady.

[OH THANK GOD. I mean it's weird looking but OH, THANK GOD.]

There you go, kiss a flat object. That'll work.

[no shut up]

[thxforthememories]

No, he's not a lady. Power Joe would date him if he was a lady.

[That makes total sense in his head.]

[And yes, he's. Trying to make out with that cube.]

[This is so awkward.]

[badboybikerbot]

No way man, I like to think McCrane has better taste in dating material than that. He's totally classy. Power Joe isn't classy.

[Man this is hilarious to watch. Trying not to laugh is incredibly difficult. BUT instead of laughing Gunmax is just gonna reach over and try to lower that dumb cube before Kagerou makes himself look even more like the biggest loser in the universe]

Look. Look, cut that out. You can practice on that cube all you want, but it's not going to give you any feedback.

[thxforthememories]

Classy. How is he classy. He's a crane.

[That made more sense in his head.]

[He lets Gunmax lower that cube, staring dumbly at him, like he's trying to figure out how the hell that happened.]

It's the only practice... thing.

[badboybikerbot]

[Apparently Drunkmax thinks that was the funniest thing he's ever heard in his life because heeee's laughing his dumb green ass off for a minute]

Hey. Hey. Look. Okay. Cranes can be classy too. But anyway, I meant personality-wise. He's a total gentleman. Whereas Power Joe has all the class of a drunken frat boy.

And no, that's totally not gonna work, see? If you're gonna practice somethin' like that, it has to be on a person. So you can get feedback, see?

[thxforthememories]

Oh. He's a gentleman. Who's a crane. A crane... tleman.

[You tried, Kagerou.]

There's not anybody else I want to kiss though!

[badboybikerbot]

Hah! A cranetleman! I like it!

[you did try and gunmax approves]

Maybe. Listen. Listen. Maybe we just need to find someone who's got experience and just ask 'em for pointers. Y'know like. Advice. That way you don't have to kiss anyone else or make out with your. Square. Cube. Thing,

[thxforthememories]

You do?

[Wow he looks so happy. You'd think he just won a prize or something.]

Well. Okay.

But who's kissed a lot? I don't know. Do you know? Do we ask?

[badboybikerbot]

It's the best. It is the best.

[GOOD BE HAPPY STOP MOPING.]

I. Have no idea. Shit. We could just start like messaging people. And asking.