re_alignment | [Voice] PSA and a Plan

Entry tags:

✘ dead space | vandal

[Voice] PSA and a Plan

Hey uh guys? Those "explosives" that Prism asshole was talking about?

All a fake. I opened Drift up and took a look and it turned out he was bluffing. I hope that's worth a little peace of mind or... whatever. From what I could see, it's just like a tag. Nothing intrusive. I couldn't remove it, but it's not dangerous.

On that note:

Teddie and I were kind of talking about having a party of sorts. Like kind of a karaoke-movie-drink-yourself-dumb extravaganza. I was thinking maybe when Casa De Vandal is finished I could host it there? I still have to fix everything, but I have most of the equipment.

Thoughts? Ideas? Can I get a 'Hell yeah'?

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[Oh.]

[That's the sound of sheepish silence. And then a very awkward laugh. Followed by a rough ex-vent.]

Ah, sorry. I--know what it is. It's just--[Not the first thing he thought of? CRUDE!]

Well okay, I guess I should explain. _{Primus I feel like an aft though.} Ah--Are you familiar at all with Cybertronian forms of interfacing?

[Stop him any time this becomes TMI, cuz WHOA it might.]

Uh.

Not really. Admittedly Ratchet tried, bless him, to tell me but I kind of didn't really want to hear it from him.

He's like. Like my dad or something.

[She shrugs.]

Besides, it's not like I need to know.

[It's good that he likes you Vandal, or this would be even more awkward. First you go feeling up Drift's spark casing, and now you're getting your hands into all his sensitive areas.]

Ratchet's intentions are good. But, I can see why you'd want to steer clear.

[He doesn't want to force the subject, buuuut it might be a useful thing to know. If only to avoid Sudden Awkward Situations.]

I don't have to tell you if you'd really rather not know. But if you're getting physical in that way then there's a chance you'll stumble across it all on your own. [He shrugs] It's up to you.

Well. I guess I wouldn't really mind hearing it if it's so important.

[She shifts uncomfortably on his shoulder, hands sliding away.]

Didn't know that was a risk. I thought we were just goofing around.

[And now she feels guilty and stupid. Friendly roughhousing with Drift suddenly something to avoid.]

I wouldn't call it...important per say, just...useful to know? [Ugh, he was fumbling this pretty bad, wasn't he?]

I don't mean it to sound melodramatic. If it was a real risk Drift would have warned you. So you were just 'goofing around'.

[He sighs and covers his face a moment.] I'm sorry, maybe I'm just trying to cover my horribly crude faux pas. I--I should not have assumed...

Ah. Well. If you want to tell me, I wont say no.

[Man this got awkward fast.]

Don't worry, Wing. You have nothing to fear from me. I'm just a human. And not remotely attractive even if one of you guys was into that.

[She pats him calmly and slumps against his shoulder, cautiously examining one of his panels.]

So you were gonna tell me, then. About robot sex.

[It seems to be a thing, when these two talk about sex...stuff.]

Hey now, how would you know what we find attractive? [Maybe you deserve more credit than that.]

Ah, yeah. Well, I guess I should deliver after all the lead up. Just one form though, tactile. It's probably more science than sexy to you. Our frames naturally carry piezoelectric charge. It tends to build and pool in certain areas, usually where there's more friction like joints and seams. [He glances over to make sure you're following.] An overabundance of that charge starts to interact with our sensornet in interesting ways. Bottom line is: It feels good. You can create more charge by stimulating the right areas.

Okay. I accept that challenge. Would you, or would you not, look at a human, any human, and say to yourself "Mmm yeah, definitely wanna fuck that."

Okay. Huh. Not as unsexy as you might think. Actually a lot more... I don't know. Understandable than I would expect.

But uh. Just avoid joints and shit, right? So. That's easy.

[He's a little startled by that challenge, but not necessarily surprised.] Any human? Well that's not exactly fair! I've seen, at best, a dozen humans in my life. I don't even know what the usual physical parameters are for your race. How do I know you don't sometimes come with two heads? _{Because admittedly that might be a little strange.}

[He chuckles a bit.] Often concepts are only alien until we examine them more closely. When seen in the light, they become familiar and more relatable. But you understand my momentary confusion now yes?

And I wouldn't say outright avoid--every mech is different, _{and well, I only WISH I had the personal experience to give specifics}--but you'll probably be able to tell from his reaction, and at least this way you'll know why. It takes time to build charge, so you're not going to get an extreme reaction through a simple casual encounter. Though, I suppose things might be extra sensitive if he's not---[annnd his mouth snaps shut around that last part. He looks away, quickly clearing his vocalizer.]

Ahaha, _wow, anyway. Does that make sense?

Yeah well. Okay, imagine what you might think of as an attractive human, I guess?

And uh. Yeah. I get that now, really.

Ah... yeah I think he would say something if I accidentally somehow. Y'know. Also probably less with the laughing and rolling around.

Wait- if he's not what?

[She's honestly curious. The way Wing reacted.]

Uh, yeah. Kinda, I guess.

[It looks like he's trying, really, but after a bit, he gives up with a shrug.] I suppose part of interspecies relationships is that what you look like on the outside matters a whole lot less.

I'm...pretty sure he would. [Wing snerks.] No, more with 'o-oohing' probably.

[He puts his palm to his face for a moment, venting softly.]

Self servicing. [Yeah that.] It's healthy to release charge on a regular basis actually.

And just to be safe...and save my dignity, I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention any of this to him? The parts, you know, about him. [Wow, is that Wing looking a bit...bashful?]

Hm. I suppose so. I dunno. You guys look close enough to humans in some ways that it's just like looking at dudes wearing fancy armor.

[She barks a nervous laugh.] Yeah- uhuh. I'm not really one to speculate on. That. [Sounds.]

Oh. So wait, robots can like... masturbate?

[OH GOD?]

Well... I guess that's not a far cry away from like. Having sex or whatever so I shouldn't be surprised.

And seriously? We're never. Never mentioning this conversation happened.

Edited 2012-09-07 07:31 (UTC)

[He cants his helm and makes a thoughtful sound.] I suppose that's true, as well as the reverse. Had I not met you in medibay the first time, given the armor you wear I would have assumed you were just a small robot.

Well. Neither am I really. [He pouts. A little.]

Well, effectively yes. As I said it does have its health benefits but as you can imagine it's not the primary reason mechs do it. [He's just not going to mention how often he has in recent months.] But uh, yes, hypersensitivity can happen when charge is not released/reset routinely.

[He lays a dark hand over his chassis.] Agreed. And I'm apologize for making you uncomfortable. It's never my intention, it's simply that it's a pretty open subject where I come from; I forget that it isn't the same for others.

[Oh that gets a laugh.] What would they call me? Vandaltron?

[She shifts, well that's awkward.]

Well jeez. You guys sometimes seems so. Ah. Forgive me saying but human. Humans are kind of the same way but in a more. I don't know. Just. Similar but different.

Fuck I'm bad at this.

[Her hand goes back to scratching under his jaw and she leans back against his shoulders.]

Eh, it's all kinda interesting, really. Discomfort aside, humans can be pretty prude, and I admit, I can be when it comes to certain things. But I'd rather know. No need pretending shit doesn't happen.

[Wing echoes that laugh.] Not bad, if a touch long. It'd probably get shortened to just 'Vandal' anyway.

[You'll have to excuse him, he's used to having people he can be candid with about this stuff, but they're all back in Crystal City...]

It's interesting how two species so different can have such parallels.

[You right ahead and do that, he'll even make it easy for you.]

Well I'm glad that, discomfort aside, something good came out of it.

[They'd been walking for some time now, and admist the intensity of the conversion Wing had missed that gradual transition out of the junk pile and into the rolling hills of Alpha Trion's quadrant. It's not until the hissing steam of a nearby fissure grabs his attention that he realizes how far they'd traveled.]

Hmm, I'd forgotten there were a few hazards by foot. I can still get you safely to the lake though I think. If you still want to see it?

Edited 2012-09-10 17:27 (UTC)

Yeah, figures. [Vandal's not even really her name anyways.]

Yeah, I suppose...

[Her attention is abruptly drawn to how far they'd gone.]

Yeah, I still do if that's okay. If it's too dangerous, we can go back though. No need for you to get hurt.

I'm more concerned about you actually. Steam burns for me are mostly a minor discomfort and more easily remedied. Not so much for you correct?

[He eyes the steam vents that pocket the landscape, some which hiss idly and others that vent suddenly and sporadically.]

I'll take you if you want, or I can bring you back once I've got my passenger seat installed.

Ah, well if you're not worried, I'm not. I trust you.

[It's actually kind of a weird phrase to say these days. She doesn't trust many people.]

You honor me with that trust Vandal, thank you.

[And he makes his way carefully through the hills, sensors scanning the surface temperatures to help him choose the safest path, towards the the lake and Alpha Trion's temple.]

[So on they go. The first lake she'd ever really see in person, in her life. And what's better is to be going with a friend like Wing.]

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[Voice] PSA and a Plan

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