[Voice] Trying Too Hard

[vandalization]

So that's it then. Everything is back to "normal". As normal as this place gets and we're all left a little more fucked up than when we started.

Let's talk, humans, bears, Autobots, Decepticons. We're all people stuck here. Some of us want to be here, some of us don't...

But.

I just want to hear something good.

It doesn't matter if we're friends or not. But I'd like to hear from you.

Have you made friends here?

Would you rather go home or stay? If you want to go home, what is it there that you miss?

What makes you happy?

Comments

[vandalization]

Why can't I see your kittens?

[whirlybird_of_prey]

Because you don't just go up to a mech and ask to see his kitten!!

[Seriously, what is wrong with you?!]

[vandalization]

Is there more than one? If there's more than one can I have one?

[SHHHH WHIRL JUST ACCEPT IT.]

[whirlybird_of_prey]

No way. I earned this kitten fair and square. [It may be the first actual decent wage he's earned in a long time.] You can take it up with Weird Beard if you want your own.

[vandalization]

Well.


Can I at least see it? Is it cute? What did you name it?

[whirlybird_of_prey]

Hnnngh. [My Precioussssss!!!]

Fine. [He reaches into his cockpit and produces the fuzzy grey kitten.] Splat.

[vandalization]

His name is Splat? Oh my god he's so cute! Ohhhhh look at how fuzzy! Oh my god I want to hug him...

[ She is allowed one 'Girl Moment' here. ]

[whirlybird_of_prey]

What. You got a better name for him?

[Too bad. He likes Splat.It's a good name.]

[Splat will start pawing at the camera with little fuzzy paws.]

Heh. You say that now. He's going to be a ruthless killer when he grows up.

[Whirl has PLANS.]

[vandalization]

Nah, Splat is kinda cute.

... Uh-huh. I'm sure he will be.

[Wow that's cute.]

[whirlybird_of_prey]

Splat [He will inform you since you seem dubious.] Is a lethal feline killing machine.

In training.

[That might be the 'cute' part.]

[Of course all you get to see is Splat's nose as he snuffles the camera with a little purring sound.]

[vandalization]

Can I please please please come pet him?

[whirlybird_of_prey]

[Have The Face. Staring at you.]

One condition.


No.

Perceptor.

[vandalization]

Okay, okay. No Percy.

I just wanna cuddle your kitty.

[whirlybird_of_prey]

I know where you live.

[Creepy? He's counting on it. Don't get any big ideas about Splatnapping.]

[vandalization]

Like I give a fuck. I'll be over later to see you guys.

[whirlybird_of_prey]

...feeling I'm going to regret this.

[Then again, he always has that feeling. But if he wasn't so proud of Splat, you know, it'd be totally different.]

[vandalization]

Ah don't be so pessimistic.

[Coming from her? That's ironic.]

[whirlybird_of_prey]

You mean reality-istic.

[He's got four million years of cynicism on you.]

[vandalization]

Sure we can go with that.

[whirlybird_of_prey]

...you frag with Splat and I will end you.

[Not a threat, just fact.]

[vandalization]

Yeah, yeah, like I would hurt a cat.

[whirlybird_of_prey]

Like I trust you. Last time I went anywhere with you I got shot.


And I was trying to be chivalrous, too. [Also you tried to stab him in the foot. Why you play so hard to get, bb?]

[vandalization]

Hey, I didn't tell him to shoot you.

Yuh-huh. Okay. Mmmhmm.

[whirlybird_of_prey]

[That's the only reason he's even talking to you.]

[Well, other than the fact that he's Whirl.]

I said 'trying'.

[vandalization]

You deserved that.