re_alignment | [Video]

Entry tags:

✘ marvel comics (616) | deadpool

[Video]

[One man, alone, betrayed by the country he loves--]

[Really? You're going to riff off that movie? Auspicious start.]

[Just trying to go with the whole giant robots/destiny gestalt, set a little tone, you know.]

I'd try the whole 'take me to your leader' thing--classic, of course--but just between you, me and this bag of tacos, I'm kind of lacking in that whole 'respect for authority' vital amine.

[ Cute. So you're going to play along like this is real. ]

[Face it, weirder things have happened.]

[...point.]

So. Weaz. If this is all some way to get me back for those Cheetos, haaaaaa buddy, good one.

If you sold me out to Killebrew I will &*^$ing end you.

But here's what's really important. Since I'm here. And you're here. And we're all here, being here.

[It is time for a dramatic pause!]

Anyone wanna show me how to get Skinemax on this thing?

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Real treat to see you, too, Ricky. Rocky. Rocket.

[Whatever. They all look the same. ]

[Sneers, paw twitching like he wants to grab his gun out of habit.]

Too bad one of your keepers didn't come through too, you farkin' ass.

Hey, you gonna make me get all Rodney King up in here?

...preferably without the beating.

[There's no way that could end well. The shame of being taken down by a raccoon? Or the bad PR from the Humane Society? Deadpool: Abuser of Animals.]

Important question. Is it "Rack-oon" or "Ruh-koon"? I just want to be, you know, sensitive.

[Growls in that raccoon like way, tail lashing as both paws settle on their respective laser pistols without him really realizing it.]

Fark off! You existing is insensitive as it is. Why the bloody hell would you, of all people, get dropped through here.

[Shakes his head, throwing his paws up as he glares at the ceiling.]

What the bloody hell were you first forged thinking, if it was you?!

Space raccoon says what?

[ Truly, an ambassador for peace.]

I've learned to stop asking those sorts of 'why' questions. Know why?

...'cause thinking like that? Makes you crazy.

[ I see what you did there. Sarcasm lol. ]

Edited (html *shakes fist*) 2012-10-07 17:04 (UTC)

[Stares at him for a moment with that dry, disgusted sort of look on his face, ears flicking briefly.]

Says the farkin' moron that talks to himself.

Space raccoon.

So, dig through any good trash cans lately?

[ Small talk = friends! ]

Your point?

[Sneers.]

No! I'm not some bloody Earth raccoon!

[Though..he had been at the junk pile recently..]

Your pointy ears is the point.

[ You don't actually expect sense, do you?]

Sure. You just look like one, smell like one....get squished on the road like one.

[ ....ooops?]

I hope you die here.

~ 'Can you feel the loooooove tonight...?

Blah blah blaaaaaaaah blah-blah-blah' ~

God you are even more farkin' annoying than I remember!

Thanks! I've been practicing, just for you.

Go. To. Hell.

[Sneered.]

Been there! Hey did I ever tell you about the time I hooked up with Satana?

[ She could rock a plunging neckline, that was for sure. ]

[Stares then rolls his eyes, getting close to the camera with another sneer.]

Don't want to hear about it. Ever.

You sure? It's a hell of a story.

...

Get it?

Get it?

Hell of a story?

I'm pretty bloody sure no one ever finds you amusing.

Ouch. Ouch. You wound me, Rookie.

[i]Rocket.[/i]

[Growled.]

Oh, right. Rocket. Sorry. I get my space fauna mixed up.

Fark off!

[Growled before he cuts the line, ready to fire at his camera at this rate.]

Anyone ever tell you you're cute when you're angry?

...they lied.

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