re_alignment | [Voice]

Entry tags:

✘ dead space | vandal

[Voice]

Hey guys, just a heads up.

I'm heading back home for a day, since the medical needs have come to a decent trickle, I am in desperate need of a decent night's sleep.

If anyone needs me, comm me or leave a message... or say it now. Because I am going to pass the fuck out for the next day or so.

[Private to Drift/Wing]

Can I... talk to you guys? Do you have a minute? I mean separately. Privately.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Aha-

Yeah. I... I do. Look um. I just. I need to get something off my chest.

[ He tilts his head, attentive with a note of concern. ] You can always talk to me Karrie. Please... [ he makes a forthcoming gesture. ]

Um.

Well this is kind of. Weird. And it puts... it puts a lot of us in an awkward position, but I.

Fuckin.

Shit... um.

So listen. I spend a lot of time with you and Drift, right?

Awkward or no, I'm sure we can handle it. [ That's just what you do when you care about people. ]

Yes, you do. I'm grateful for it.

Well I-

I'm in love with you. Both.

Karrie...

[ Surprised? Yes and no. He'd known there was...something. But he wasn't sure what. And he certainly wasn't expecting something so...definitive. ]

[ But fattered? Definitely. To the point of speechlessness? Almost. Mostly he just wants to scoop you up and hug you Vandal, it seems the most fitting response right now. ]

_{Oh Karrie, I...}

[ ...I'm sorry. Because he's realizing how hard all of this must be for you. But 'I'm sorry' is the last thing you want to hear when someone admits they're in love with you. ]

...what can I do?

I...

Nothing. Haha. Nothing really. Can't force either of you to feel the same so.

I guess. We'll just go back to life and I'll. Try to get over this.

Karrie I...

...I never said I didn't.

Maybe. Maybe it's not the same as what I feel for Drift. But it's not the same as what I feel for my casual friends either. [ He's not sure how else to describe it, love is a spectrum for him, not something that fits in boxes with definded borders and labels. ]

I... know you both care for me, Wing. That should be enough for me.

This has. Taken me a long time to come to terms with. I don't really know what to do at this point, though. I don't know what I want from you guys, I mean. Other than the obvious which is-

Yeah. It's not your responsibility to sort, at any rate. I'm sorry to put you on the spot like this.

...maybe it's not that obvious? You want...the same love returned? A relationship? Intimacy...? Beyond what we have now that is...

[He pulls back and tries to rephrase. Because even if it's not his responsibility he still wants to. His voice softens even further, and he leans into close, near the camera. ]

What would you want, if there was no awkwardness or complications or boundaries or labels. If you could dream it...what would it be like?

[ He doesn't know if it's something he can make come true, but he cares enough to try. ]

If I could have-

Heh. Well that's simple. I'd want to be with you, both of you. I'd want you to love me like you do each other.

I want what you have. But that's not really fair to you guys, is it? Talk about unreasonable expectations from the clingy human.

Stupid, right? I'm not a beautiful sword-wielding 'bot with a tragic past or even-

I'm just a gullible murderer who was too stupid to do the right thing.

I should... stop. Talking.

There's no shame in wanting those things. But every relationship is different. Drift and I have a lot of history; with you, we're still making it.

And...I kinda like it when you're clingy. [ He smiles and gives a shy little shrug. ] I get clingy too, I'm just four times your size so I don't really indulge it.

[But this next part makes him frown, because even if it's familiar, the subject's never been spun with this much self-hate.]

You know, Drift was only one of those things when I meant him. And I don't think stupidity has anything to do with it in either of your cases. But that's not the point here.

You're a beautiful person Karrie and just as deserving of love as anyone else. I'm not going to say you don't or can't have it here. Just...give it time and let it be whatever it's going to be. [His mouth stretches back into a smile and he reaches toward the camera, as if wanting to touch.]

[ She ducks her head, not wanting to look at the screen anymore. ]

I-

Yeah. Okay.

I'm sorry, Wing.

[ What she wouldn't do for a tub of ice cream right now... ]

_Karrie...

[He hopes that didn't come off as a dismissal, quite the opposite, but he's not well versed in how real humans handle relationships and feelings. Fiction holds no insight for him here.]

Please don't, there's nothing to apologize for...

[Would she take a snow cones intead? Because Wing can make her a bunch of those.]

No this-

This was really selfish. I think I just. Need some time alone.

[ Snow cones would be acceptable. ]

It wasn't Karrie. I'm glad you told me.

This is what that conversation earlier was about, about wanting to fall out of love with someone, wasn't it? And why you got flustered in Drift's room the other day...

[His face pinches with worry.]

Look I'm sorry for all the awkwardness. I don't want to push you away...

Yeah... that was. What that was all about.

Silly me.

[ She sighs. ]

You're not. You're every bit as patient and understanding as I could have expected, Wing.

No...I don't think it's silly. This is not exactly your everyday situation is it?

[He just has this tremendous urge to pet your hair right now. As it is he'll just worry his hands together off camera.]

Good. I grow closer and closer to you every day, I don't want that to stop.

No. I mean- yeah, no I guess.

[ She's just going to hide her face in her hands. ]

Thanks, Wing. You should probably see to your other half. Things didn't go quite as well.

Hey, you're courting two guys at once, who also happen to be 'giant alien robots'. Pretty gutsy if you ask me, but I don't know any other woman who could pull it off.

[He smiles; it's a little lopsided on one end and a bit rueful on the other.]

Oh...dear. Ah, I can talk to him, sure. But...what about you?

You don't really know any other women, sweetheart.

I dunno. The day I suss out what I truly want they'll throw a fucking parade.

[ She chuffs humorlessly. ]

Sorry. I made a mess, tell him I'm sorry. I- yeah.

I'll be fine. Some wine, sleep and sappy movies will do me well enough. Maybe some chocolate if I can find any.

Ah, well... don't Miko and Kay count? [ Don't mind him, he doesn't yet understand the finer points of human maturity.]

Karrie... I think you're very brave for telling us both. [His voice is soft and serious.] And I meant what I said the other day in Drift's room. I'm not opposed...but I'd need to speak to him first.

[And really, he feels if anything were going to happen, it should be with Drift, at least first, which makes talking with him all the more important.]

I will. And just be patient with him. Healthy loving relationships aren't something he's had. Ever. Before now. It's all new to him. I've had my challenges with him too but he's absolutely worth it.

[He offers a smile.] Maybe I can find you some in Pantry. [He should really stop doing that...]

They're both still little girls, hun.

I- yeah. I dunno. I'd rather have him come to me on his own. You know. I guess that's expecting a lot, though. I doubt the idea has ever crossed his mind, which. I guess says enough.

[ She frowns. That's true, but being outright immediately rejected still stung. ]

I'd like that. If you could check at least.

.......ah. [Learn something new everyday. He still looks a little confounded though, his hands coming up in front of his chestplate in a sort of grabby fashion.] But they both have bumpers...?

I meant, more, asking his permission actually... [A wide smirk as he glances skyward or a moment.] And you never know. He may not have even considered it possible before now. Our drive isn't biological, it's intellectual. Pleasure is addicting but you have to be exposed to it first you know?

[He gives a sympathic look; it's got a hug in it for the next time he sees you Vandal.]

I will. When do you want me to bring it by? [Or have Drift bring it by?]

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