audio; 4/6 late night / early morning ish

[thxforthememories]

[It's probably around midnight or so when the post pops up. Or close enough to it that the effects of the red energon have finally worn off. He can touch things now. He's no longer a ghost.]

[And... still considerably unsettled and upset by recent events. Enough to make the following statement:]

I ... I want to learn how to be drunk.

[Because that seems like a great idea. It always worked for his role models around here, after all.]

Someone. Show me how. I'll be grateful.

[And that's all he says. He'll be at the bar, an unhappy pile of metal and wings. Waiting.]

Comments

[thxforthememories]

[He finally looks up at him.]

... But some of them are important to me. Like. Like Ratchet. And Kay. And Vandal. And McCrane. And you. And Blurr. And...

[He trails off, and grudgingly finishes his cube.]

... and Shadowmaru.

[badboybikerbot]

Well okay. In that case, just smile and nod whenever someone starts giving you a hard time. Say something smooth and it'll be fine.

[You know what Gunmax is going to finish his cube too and immediately start on a new one. Good life decisions.]

Your other problem is that you get too defensive over things. And now you're mumbling about Shadowmaru, so I'm just going to assume that he's another one of the issues. What'd he do now, bark at you?

[thxforthememories]

Say something... smooth. I don't think I have ever been... smooth.

[They're both making excellent life choices tonight.]

[Then he just sort of looks hopeless.]

He won't talk to me. He won't answer me. It's awful...

[MY WORLD IS ENDING.]

[badboybikerbot]

Yeah, I believe that. You'll figure it out, it just takes a little practice. Before long you'll be able to talk your way out of anything.

[The best life choices ever. Also Gunmax forgot about the drinking slow thing because yolo.]

Why? Something happened? What happened?

[thxforthememories]

Talking is hard. I like listening better.

[He's going to finish that drink and then stare down at the empty cube, wobbling a little.]

He kissed me. And he said he loved me. And now he won't talk to me. He won't text to me.

Now he hates me and it's my fault.

[badboybikerbot]

That's why I said it takes practice.

[BUT ANYWAY. The next part makes Gunmax wince. He's proooobably not the best for relationship advice, but damn son]

He said that? Wait, what do you mean your fault? What would he hate you for? That just doesn't sound possible.

[thxforthememories]

How do you practice...?

[He slumps where he sits, groping for another cube with one hand, while the other gestures uselessly at the air.]

I let him. I let it happen -- That's all my fault. You know? I'm older. I should've known something was ... wrong.

So now he's gone.

He ran off, and won't talk to me. He must hate me.

[badboybikerbot]

Y'know, just chatting. Like stress free chatting.

[Yeah this probably wasn't stress free for poor Kagerou, but he sure was chatting wasn't he.]

To be fair, Shadowmaru can be kind of hard to read sometimes. [Pause for CUBING because shit this conversations needed it] Look, if I had to guess, I'd say he's probably just embarrassed and doesn't know how to handle it. It's probably less him hating you and more him being pissed off at himself for making an ass out of himself.

[thxforthememories]

Stress... free...

[What is that.]

[Then his head just sort of flops forward onto the table. He curls his arms around it.]

I know how to read him. I know him... I shouldn't...

I shouldn't make him feel like an ... like an ass! That's my fault.

If he hates me -- if he hates me... my life is over.

[wow tipsy drama queen much.]

[badboybikerbot]

[oh uh HMM that's a thing. Don't mind Gunmax if he just. Glances around. And makes sure nobody's watching.

Satisfied that nobody seems to give a shit about their awkward conversation, he reaches over and gives Kagerou's arm a hopefully reassuring pat. God this is weird.]

Don't be so dramatic! Look, you're both idio- wait, that's not helping. Uh.

[Wow ok FOCUS] Okay, rephrasing. Nobody's perfect, baby. People make mistakes, that's life! And I'm... reasonably sure he doesn't hate you.

[thxforthememories]

[He tilts his head enough to peer blearily up at Gunmax. Honestly it looks like someone just dropkicked his puppy.]

I can't make mistakes with him... I need him.

[His hands scramble around, to try and grasp onto Gunmax's like a dork.]

He can't hate me! He can't. I just. Found. Him. Again.

But he hates me. Because he won't talk to me.

[badboybikerbot]

[The first thing Gunmax realizes is that he can't grab his energon while someone is clinging to his hands. The second thing he realizes is that Kagerou is clinging to his hands. And the third thing he realizes is that his face must look incredibly stupid right now, because the look he's giving Kagerou is absurd. It's some kind of cross between sort of terrified, totally confused, and kinda drunk.

He is SO GLAD nobody else is here to see this just sayin' especially power joe]

Look, Pigeon. Can I call you that? I'm callin' you that. He doesn't hate you. I promise. He's just being a whiny little glitch right now. I bet that's all it is. You want me to talk to him for you? I mean, I can try.

[thxforthememories]

[He's practically clinging like a drowning man, so good luck getting him to let go, Gunbro.]

[His head is still laying on the table, though. Oops.]

You... You promise? Promises -- those mean a lot. You can't just promise.

[He lifts his head a little.]

You'd really. You would try?

[badboybikerbot]

[he is SO glad for his dumb visor right now because he'd probably look like a deer caught in headlights without it]

Sure I can! Watch me!

[more bad life decisions heeeeey]

And I'll totally talk to him! Doesn't bother me at all. In fact, it'll be nice to have something to take my mind off how much I want to run Power Joe over!

[thxforthememories]

[He's going to drink more. And watch Gunmax. Intently. Because he's got to be doing something, right?]

I'm watching.

[They're making stellar choices here.]

I... I can repay you. I don't know how. Maybe I can find an English... book. I don't know.

Please... Maybe he will tell you if he's alive and that's all I want to know.

[Another dramatic flop on the tabletop.]

Gunmax.

You're my only hope.

[badboybikerbot]

[oh thanks god a free hand now gunmax can drink more too. fuck knows he needs it right now]

My English is fine.

[no.

Damn and now Kagerou's going all Princess Leia on him. Today is just weird and confusing. He's going to set his visor aside and rub his face because god DAAAAAAMN weird things + drunk = what am stuff]

Look, it's fine, I'll take care of it. Then I'll drag that idiot back by his stupid dog tail and make him. Stop. Being an idiot.

[thxforthememories]

No, I... thought it was helpful. For more words.

[Or something. He doesn't really know, he's just saying words.]

[And he's going to lay there, staring up at him like a damsel in distress staring up at her would-be rescuer, look at those doe eyes.]

You. Are a hero.

Hero.

[Look at that he even tried to English it up for you.]

[badboybikerbot]

You know what, I like words. Bring on the words.

[uh

nope more nervous glancing around the room. Seriously HOW did this manage to get so AWKWARD.]

Ahum. Y-yeah. That's me. Mister Problem Solver.

[Fuck now he's going to feel like shit if he fucks this up. he is going to strangle Shadowmaru just for this.]

[thxforthememories]

I will. I will bring all the words.

[STARING INTENSIFIES.]

[He'll be remorseful later. Now he's just drunkenly grateful Gunmax is being so helpful.]

You're a good. Bot. Person. Thing.

[badboybikerbot]

[just sloooowly slides that visor into place yeaaaaaaaa stop staring.

not gonna complain about the praise though]

Hey, just trying to help a buddy out.

[thxforthememories]

[And he sloooooooooowly lays his face down on the table.]

You are.

Helping.

You are.

[badboybikerbot]

And you are drunk as hell.

[ha ha loser because clearly Gunmax is sober lol no. here kagerou have a head pat you drunk bastard]

[thxforthememories]

I am...?

[Man now he just sounds pitiful, head pats or no head pats.]

No wonder he hates me.

[badboybikerbot]

[DAMMIT. Now Gunmax is going to knock on his stupid metal head a couple times]

Why would anyone hate you for that? You're not the only one in here drinking this stuff, y'know? Look, I said he doesn't hate you. It's gonna be fiiiiiine, baby. Better than fine!

[thxforthememories]

[There's just one of those sad, muffled whining sounds from the dumb bird. He doesn't even pick his face off the table.]

I don't... know. It just seems.

It seems like. My life. Lately. Where nothing is fine.