[Video]

[holla_atcha_boy]

[One man, alone, betrayed by the country he loves--]

[Really? You're going to riff off that movie? Auspicious start.]

[Just trying to go with the whole giant robots/destiny gestalt, set a little tone, you know.]

I'd try the whole 'take me to your leader' thing--classic, of course--but just between you, me and this bag of tacos, I'm kind of lacking in that whole 'respect for authority' vital amine.

[ Cute. So you're going to play along like this is real. ]

[Face it, weirder things have happened.]

[...point.]

So. Weaz. If this is all some way to get me back for those Cheetos, haaaaaa buddy, good one.

If you sold me out to Killebrew I will &*^$ing end you.

But here's what's really important. Since I'm here. And you're here. And we're all here, being here.

[It is time for a dramatic pause!]




Anyone wanna show me how to get Skinemax on this thing? 

Comments

ACTION

[holla_atcha_boy]

Call me Wade.

Miss Jackson if you're nasty.

[ He looks nasty. ]

So. Two men, tacos and booze. And they say this whole alien abduction thing is scary.

[ Unless he's waiting till you sleep before he whips out the Probe. ]

[ Joke's going to be on him. I wore my Hello Kitty underoos. ]

ACTION

[lightupthenight]

Yeah, I mean like. These robots, man? They seem fuckin terrifying at first, and then you realize that their lives play out like bad Spanish soap opera. Seriously. I ain't never seen such petty bullshit, not since I was at The Albert Wily School For The Fun, Joyful, Completely Mandatory Education Of Children.

Also man you'd think that you'd just get stepped on for being an asshole to 'em but mostly they just splutter and pretend like you didn't get their goat. It's kinda hilarious.

And then tacos and booze happen and you're like okay this is either the lamest alien abduction ever, or the awesomest.

ACTION

[holla_atcha_boy]

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

You're implying there's such a thing as a good Spanish soap opera.

[ Too many men crying. Full lip wibble and everything.]

Good to know. [ Perhaps a little too good. There's no way this can end well.]

[ Does it ever?]

In my incredibly humble opinion, it would need a few explosions, some blood, and a Lambchop puppet to be awesome.

ACTION

[lightupthenight]

Everything is improved with explosions. Everything.

ACTION

[holla_atcha_boy]

[ I need a moment to take this all in. And ponder. Tacos? Better with explosions. Boats? Better with explosions. Raccoons? WAY better with explosions. ]

BY GEORGE YOU'RE RIGHT.

ACTION

[lightupthenight]

We should get drunk and blow something up. Yes.

[pause]

Wait better idea. You said something something people pay you to punch robots. Something.

What if we like. Started a business. Where we got robots to pay us for punching other robots, and also setting them on fire.

[how much whiskey have you had Joe the answer is all of it. all the whiskey.]

ACTION

[holla_atcha_boy]

[ You gonna admit you can't get drunk?]

[ *^#$ no. He'll think I'm a freak. ]

[ ........... ]

We totally should.

[ Even better!

So, you're an entrepreneeeeeeeeeur, I take it?

Because that is a Trump-worthy idea.

ACTION

[lightupthenight]

If I wasn't before, I sure as shit am now.

[pause]

Who's Trump?

ACTION

[holla_atcha_boy]

That's the spirit. Stick it to The Man!

...except you'll be The Man.

[ CONUNDRUM]

Trump? EPIC combover. Like a *&^% Tribble &*#*ing his head.

Re: ACTION

[lightupthenight]

Hey okay no, if I'm the Man I'll just have to stick it to myself, or something. Be like hey you, me, stop with the capitalism and shit.

What's a Tribble? This is all pop culture shit ain't it? Man okay, you gotta realize, I grew up in a place that'd make Orwell proud. I ain't educated in shit that's actually good. We had Mandatory Fun Television Time With Our Glorious Leader.

ACTION

[holla_atcha_boy]

Probably a market for that if you can video yourself doing it.

...4chan or something.

[ Not that we know anything about that stuff.]

Tribbles are, I don't know. Some sort of metaphor for the rampant cute-ification of society. Roddenberry was deep like that.

[ Suck it, Whedon.]

Just saying. You missed out. Because TrueBlood? Like porn. But with werewolves.

[lightupthenight]

That sounds like some kinky shit, man.

[holla_atcha_boy]

You do not even know. But that's not as creepy as old ladies reading Fifty Shades of Grey.

...

in public.

[lightupthenight]

[shit he has no idea what you're going on about anymore but it sounds terrible]

Dannnng.

[holla_atcha_boy]

[ No one does, so join the club.]

Damn straight. So, bro. How's this freaky nut house work? Who I gotta shank to get respect?

[Also have another taco.]