[Video]

[kingofthetvworld]

[Something has been bothering Teddie for awhile since he got here. Now that he's a little more situated, he figures he might as well ask now since sitting around isn't giving him any answers.

Look! A video on purpose! He's so proud of himself.]

Hey! I gotta question! It's an important one, too, I promise! If you can just bear with me for a sec, I'd really appreciate it!

[His eyes light up.]

Do robots score?

Comments

[kingofthetvworld]

You don't know either, huh?

[vandalization]

Well, I talked about it a little with Wing, but it was kinda vague...

[kingofthetvworld]

That's no good. From what I gathered, though, they sure do score. A lot, too. Some of these fellas are really, really old!

[vandalization]

Well yeah but like. How, you know? Do they have like. Robot dicks? Or do they just turn on network sharing?

[kingofthetvworld]

[Blink.]

Huh? No, I think it's just smooching. You know, stuff like that.

[vandalization]

Just kissing? Sounds kind of lame.

[kingofthetvworld]

W-W-Wha--no! It's not lame! It's awesome! They do it on TV all the time, how can it be lame?

[vandalization]

"Scoring" usually means you get laid, buddy.

[kingofthetvworld]

Then I must score a lot cause I lay down all the time.

...Or is it lie down?

[vandalization]

... Oh honey.

Never mind, okay?

[She wont destroy your innocence more than she has.]

[kingofthetvworld]

[He's so confused right now, good idea.]

If you say so...

[vandalization]

[You poor precious thing.]

[kingofthetvworld]

[Well, as long as he has you on this thing.]

What's your name?

[He doesn't find this awkward at all.]

[vandalization]

Call me Vandal. What about you?

[docbot]

... do I have to get out the instructional videotapes?

[ :| ]

[vandalization]

Whoa wait. Instructional?





Is there robot porn?

[docbot]

Yes, that's what I -- [ Have a brief burst of static in place of a text keysmash because oh hey embarrassed Ratchet is embarrassed. ]

I would not show you pornography in order to teach you about how Cybertronians get physically intimate! Most things of that nature aren't even accurate.

[vandalization]

So you guys actually have instructional videos? How hard can it be?

[docbot]

Have you ever seen an aircraft carrier and a motorcycle try to interface? Because believe me, getting the parts unjammed after that fiasco was a terrifying experience.

[ He won't even go into the time that one mech tried to selfservice with a pterorabbit. ]

[vandalization]

Oh my god. Storytime. Haha- oh wow.

I bet you've seen all sorts of crazy shit in your profession.

[docbot]

You have no idea. The stories we used to share around at the bar during my residency... [A wistful chuckle in memory of times long past.] Well. Yes, suffice to say that I've seen quite a bit.

[vandalization]

Clearly I need to get you drunk and make you tell me. Or you could just tell me but drunk is always nice.

[docbot]

Hah! If you can find some quality high-grade, I might take you up on that. Primus knows, it's been centuries since I've had anything other than what I had time to brew for myself.

[this comment not here]

[winged_knight]

[But THAT IMAGE will be burned into Wing's memory banks for a very long time. Thank you, Ratchet.]

Re: [this comment not here]

[docbot]

[ It took three of them working in tandem to get things dismantled enough to free them... And hen they had to reassemble everything. MEDICING: WHAT A GLAMOUROUS JOB.]