audio; 4/6 late night / early morning ish

[thxforthememories]

[It's probably around midnight or so when the post pops up. Or close enough to it that the effects of the red energon have finally worn off. He can touch things now. He's no longer a ghost.]

[And... still considerably unsettled and upset by recent events. Enough to make the following statement:]

I ... I want to learn how to be drunk.

[Because that seems like a great idea. It always worked for his role models around here, after all.]

Someone. Show me how. I'll be grateful.

[And that's all he says. He'll be at the bar, an unhappy pile of metal and wings. Waiting.]

Comments

[badboybikerbot]

Oh yeah. It was when I was still with the highway patrol, though. No other robots around to hassle me yet.

[Don't worry dude Gunmax won't yell at you]

[thxforthememories]

Highway patrol...

[He's trying to remember if Gunmax ever brought it up before. He can't remember hearing about it. So he drinks some more instead. A+ plan.]

... You don't talk about that very much.

[badboybikerbot]

It wasn't really anything special. Busted a few bike gangs here and there, wrote a few speeding tickets. Typical cop stuff.

[Typical cop stuff that kind of sucked but hey. Gunmax is going to try another one of those cubes. Slowly. And not stupidly.]

[thxforthememories]

You. Wrote tickets.

[What.]

[He even sets his cube down. He's that surprised.]

[badboybikerbot]

Hey, we all gotta start somewhere! And okay, to be fair, I personally didn't write them. They didn't really make those in our size.

[But you can bet your ass he pulled them over]

[thxforthememories]

Oh. I was trying to picture you writing them... and it didn't work.

[And that sentence made a little more sense in his head.]

[... he's going to eye his cube suspiciously.]

[badboybikerbot]

Weird mental image, but nah. I just stood there looking intimidating while... someone else took care of the boring paperwork.

[yep that's the stupid part of the drunk kagebird]

Oh hey, you were right about the buzzing. This is weird.

[thxforthememories]

Like now, hm?

[Since he remembers how much you love paperwork, bro.]

... it's not bad weird, though. Not really.

[badboybikerbot]

Heeey. I do my paperwork. Sometimes.

[No it's the devil THIS IS THE FUTURE WE'RE IN SPACE WHY DOES PAPERWORK STILL EXIST]

Nah, it isn't. It's like tingly.

[thxforthememories]

Are you sure Deckerd and McCrane don't do it for you?

[Kagerou are you teasing. Are you teasing him.]

I like tingling better than thinking.

[badboybikerbot]

Noooo, no way.

Okay maybe sometimes.

[psshhhh gunmax is too cool for being teased ok]

I like a lot of things better than thinking. Doesn't mean it's always healthy, though.

[thxforthememories]

Only sometimes?

[He frowns though, looking into his now-empty cube.]

I don't care about being healthy right now. I just want to... not think.

[badboybikerbot]

Hey, I don't always slack off!

[sure Gunmax is bitching, but he's still been studying Kagerou's face. his face sucks at being ninja.]

Y'know, if something's bugging you, you'll probably feel better if you get it off your chest. And then get stupid drunk.

[thxforthememories]

I know. That was teasing.

[He's going to get another cube first.]

I want to drink first. Everyone else does. Why shouldn't I? It's like they don't think I can. Because I'm not one of them.

[badboybikerbot]

Yeah well.

[Shut up. It's the high grade.]

Whatever, forget that. Look. Gunmax advice time. You seriously need to stop worrying about what anyone else thinks about you. Screw 'em. It doesn't matter. Trust me, not givin' a crap is so much less stressful.

[thxforthememories]

[He finally looks up at him.]

... But some of them are important to me. Like. Like Ratchet. And Kay. And Vandal. And McCrane. And you. And Blurr. And...

[He trails off, and grudgingly finishes his cube.]

... and Shadowmaru.

[badboybikerbot]

Well okay. In that case, just smile and nod whenever someone starts giving you a hard time. Say something smooth and it'll be fine.

[You know what Gunmax is going to finish his cube too and immediately start on a new one. Good life decisions.]

Your other problem is that you get too defensive over things. And now you're mumbling about Shadowmaru, so I'm just going to assume that he's another one of the issues. What'd he do now, bark at you?

[thxforthememories]

Say something... smooth. I don't think I have ever been... smooth.

[They're both making excellent life choices tonight.]

[Then he just sort of looks hopeless.]

He won't talk to me. He won't answer me. It's awful...

[MY WORLD IS ENDING.]

[badboybikerbot]

Yeah, I believe that. You'll figure it out, it just takes a little practice. Before long you'll be able to talk your way out of anything.

[The best life choices ever. Also Gunmax forgot about the drinking slow thing because yolo.]

Why? Something happened? What happened?

[thxforthememories]

Talking is hard. I like listening better.

[He's going to finish that drink and then stare down at the empty cube, wobbling a little.]

He kissed me. And he said he loved me. And now he won't talk to me. He won't text to me.

Now he hates me and it's my fault.

[badboybikerbot]

That's why I said it takes practice.

[BUT ANYWAY. The next part makes Gunmax wince. He's proooobably not the best for relationship advice, but damn son]

He said that? Wait, what do you mean your fault? What would he hate you for? That just doesn't sound possible.

[thxforthememories]

How do you practice...?

[He slumps where he sits, groping for another cube with one hand, while the other gestures uselessly at the air.]

I let him. I let it happen -- That's all my fault. You know? I'm older. I should've known something was ... wrong.

So now he's gone.

He ran off, and won't talk to me. He must hate me.

[badboybikerbot]

Y'know, just chatting. Like stress free chatting.

[Yeah this probably wasn't stress free for poor Kagerou, but he sure was chatting wasn't he.]

To be fair, Shadowmaru can be kind of hard to read sometimes. [Pause for CUBING because shit this conversations needed it] Look, if I had to guess, I'd say he's probably just embarrassed and doesn't know how to handle it. It's probably less him hating you and more him being pissed off at himself for making an ass out of himself.

[thxforthememories]

Stress... free...

[What is that.]

[Then his head just sort of flops forward onto the table. He curls his arms around it.]

I know how to read him. I know him... I shouldn't...

I shouldn't make him feel like an ... like an ass! That's my fault.

If he hates me -- if he hates me... my life is over.

[wow tipsy drama queen much.]

[badboybikerbot]

[oh uh HMM that's a thing. Don't mind Gunmax if he just. Glances around. And makes sure nobody's watching.

Satisfied that nobody seems to give a shit about their awkward conversation, he reaches over and gives Kagerou's arm a hopefully reassuring pat. God this is weird.]

Don't be so dramatic! Look, you're both idio- wait, that's not helping. Uh.

[Wow ok FOCUS] Okay, rephrasing. Nobody's perfect, baby. People make mistakes, that's life! And I'm... reasonably sure he doesn't hate you.