[Voice]

[vandalization]

So guys? Uh. Look. Two out of three of you are aware, but.

I guess while there's not some huge disaster going on we could talk about. Stuff?

I kind of have a thing. For all three of you. Surpriiiiise Percy... And uh. Look I know I kinda flipped out last time, but I'm starting to feel better and I'd like to discuss it.

I kinda got into this thinking all of you were an item, but I realized I was mistaken. That. Still doesn't change the fact that I'm really kind of into you all in a big way.

I just wanna know if I'm barking up the wrong tree or... yeah.

And before any of you say it, I don't wanna 'do better'. Can't change how I feel.

God fucking damn I'm so awkward.

I just wanna talk about it, I'm not saying you have to... do anything or make me happy or whatever, I just.

Haha, I guess I don't know what I want. I just want to get it out there, because it's been the elephant in the room for me for a while, you know?

Comments

[video]

[sword_redemption]

Karrie. I can't pretend that. I don't think pretending helps anything. This is what I am and if you have to pretend I'm something else to want to be with me then...

[...there's your answer. And he wishes it were different, wishes he could be what Wing wanted him to be, what Perceptor wanted him to be. He'd failed because he'd pretended.]

It's not about making me happy. It's about what makes you happy.

[video]

[vandalization]

That's not what I mean at all, Drift. You know it. I want you no matter what, but I'm asking what your opinion would be if you didn't believe you don't deserve to be loved, because you do. You can't change that.

Even if you do reject me, that doesn't mean I'd stop loving you. I'd love you still in hell.

I just want to know how you feel about me.

[ Look at her. Stubborn. ]

Nah. Love is about what makes us both happy. It's about just being happy to be together. And when I'm with you? I am. So what about you?

[video]

[sword_redemption]

I've told you how I feel about you.

[He gives an uncomfortable shuffle. ]

I just...[Sigh] I wish I was enough. By myself. For any of you.

[video]

[vandalization]

Yeah but... you know. There's different types of love, Drift. Would you. Want me like that? You know. For kissing and stuff?

Hey, you are. I just. I kinda got myself into a weird situation.

[ Ahh she feels guilty. ]

I want you. Is that... is that so bad?

[video]

[sword_redemption]

Vandal. [He holds his hands out. ] Size.

[He's not really keen on the idea of rolling over and killing her. ]

[He gives a quiet laugh.] I think you should just be me. [You have both of the mechs he cares about. You do a better job of making them happy.]

[video]

[vandalization]

So? I tend to like large men. Er. Bots. I like big bots.

[ And she cannot lie. ]

Nah. I'd rather be with you. Look okay I think you're real cute and just thinking about you gets me all worked up. Just. Please accept that my feelings for you are valid.

'Cause they are.

[video]

[sword_redemption]

[He twitches, getting a comm on another line. And then cuts the feed. ]

[video]

[vandalization]

Drift wait-!

Damn it! I'll fucking crutch my way to you if I have to! You get back here right now, damn it!

DRIFT!

[ Well definitely talking to an empty comm line. She sighs. ]

Fuck.

[video] Several hours later

[vandalization]

[ Several hours later she's calling back, after finding out what even happened, and hopefully given enough time for him to cool off. ]

[Audio] Within a half hour...

[winged_knight]

Drift. [He sounds worried, and a little unsure maybe.] Where are you, can I come see you? Or can we talk?

[Audio]

[sword_redemption]

[Talk? Oh that's the last thing Drift wants to do right now.]

I'm guessing you've heard.

[Audio]

[winged_knight]

Heard what, exactly?

[Audio]

[sword_redemption]

About Vandal. And Perceptor. [And him.]

[Audio]

[winged_knight]

Ah, yeah. Some of it anyway. I knew she was interested in all of us. ...and she did mention you and Perceptor. [They kind of went hand in hand, conversation-wise.]

[Audio]

[sword_redemption]

Mention.

There's nothing to mention.

[private, audio] got lis's permission but if not ok will baleet c:

[percept]

That is quite enough.

[ Perceptor's voice is curt, but just barely. It's quite obvious the tone is forced, and underneath it he just sounds tired. ]

At least three separate individuals have, independently, made it quite clear that they deem you 'enough.' If we all deemed you flawed to the point we need to pretend you are something you are absolutely not then I highly doubt any of us would have expressed interest in the first place.

It is, frankly, rather insulting that you interpret our actions toward you as originating from any point other than honest acceptance for who you are.

However, the only thing I could ask you to do is alter this... string of miscommunication. I would have appreciated being made aware of your involvement with Wing at the time of our kiss, rather than to be made to look like a fool.

As an addendum, I believe you owe Karrie the decency of not immediately stonewalling her attempts to express her sincere affections to you.

[ There's a soft, shaky exvent that steals any thunder his previous rant might have had. ]

Please, Drift. Have some faith in us.

[private, audio]

[sword_redemption]

[He can't help the flare of anger. He tries, staring at the feed for a long moment before replying.]

For you, clearly, at least, no. I'm not 'enough'. Because I made you 'look like a fool', you couldn't even bring yourself to care that I died.

Why? Because I was clumsy. Because I thought I could get things across without words. That actions spoke louder and better. We've never been good with words. And I wanted...I wanted it too much to risk messing it up by saying something. I'm sorry. I am.

And you ignored me. Ignored everything, and now you show up and tear into me like I've done something wrong for feeling unworthy when everything you've done, everything Wing's done, has done nothing but tell me that I am.

Make her happy, Perceptor. That's the only thing I dare ask of you. Make her happy because Primus knows I can't with either of you.

[private, audio]

[percept]

[ He bites back a quiet sound at the mention of Drift's death. That he hadn't been able to deal with, hadn't known how to react too. So many deaths over the years, his response has been to shove it down, move on, try and focus on what remained. He hadn't even known where to begin with Drift's return. ]

I left you alone out of respect for Wing. Would you rather I pursue you like some lovesick idiot when you are already involved with another? After I found out, I was embarrassed. I was angry. I felt lead on and stupid. How would you have felt in my position?

Feelings toward Wing and I aside, Karrie is making it abundantly clear that she fragging loves you, you thick-headed--

[ He pauses. Exvents. ]

Wing and Karrie love you. Blame me all you want for how you feel, but at least entertain the notion of accepting their affections for what they are.

[private, audio]

[sword_redemption]

Right. So, polyamory bothered you then, but now it's all right?

You didn't even give me a chance to talk to you afterward. I might have felt the same, but I would have at least confronted you. I would have made sure, even if it hurt, so it didn't fester into...well...this.

Wing. Karrie.

But not you. [Speaking of making sure.]

[private, audio]

[percept]

I have no issues with polygamy so long as all parties are fully aware of the situation. If an involved party becomes uncomfortable with the arrangement, I will respond accordingly.

I desire your affections, Drift, but they are the ones who deserve your attentions at this point.

[ He's failed enough, by now, in numerous fashions. ]

: [private, audio]

[sword_redemption]

I wasn't even aware of the 'situation'. All I wanted, when I did it, was...you. I wanted to see you happy. I wasn't planning a relationship like a military campaign. You can't plan them. They just happen.

Or they don't.

[And apparently here....they don't. ]

I see. I'm sorry.

[private, audio]

[percept]

[ Like a military campaign. How Perceptor has been approaching everything in his life recently. ]

Just give her a chance, Drift. Please.

Re: [private, audio]

[sword_redemption]

I guess there's no point asking for you to grant me the same.

[Part of him is angry, that Perceptor so ruthlessly shut him down, that he shows up presuming he has some right, any right, to order Drift around. But it's hopeless. He sees that now. ]

Make her happy, Perceptor. I'll stay out of your way.

[private, audio]

[percept]

At this point I would be shocked if you wanted as much from me.

You should speak with Wing, when you have a chance, in addition to Karrie. I realize lack of blunt communication was our downfall, and it should not carry over to your other relationships.

[private, audio]

[sword_redemption]

Then be shocked.

Please, stop telling me to talk to everyone else, care about everyone else. I want. To talk. To you.

Even if it's to have you tell me you hate me. I just want to listen. Please.