audio; 4/6 late night / early morning ish

[thxforthememories]

[It's probably around midnight or so when the post pops up. Or close enough to it that the effects of the red energon have finally worn off. He can touch things now. He's no longer a ghost.]

[And... still considerably unsettled and upset by recent events. Enough to make the following statement:]

I ... I want to learn how to be drunk.

[Because that seems like a great idea. It always worked for his role models around here, after all.]

Someone. Show me how. I'll be grateful.

[And that's all he says. He'll be at the bar, an unhappy pile of metal and wings. Waiting.]

Comments

[badboybikerbot]

Buzzing? Let me have one of those.

[as long as it's not like drinking bees]

[thxforthememories]

[He passes the cube over.]

Starscream said to drink it slowly.

[badboybikerbot]

[Fuck Starscream Gunmax slams that thing back like a champ

and regrets it immediately. Wow does he look uncool right now HUURGH GAG AUGH WOW he is trying no to spit it all back out

okay he's fine now]

...Just pretend that didn't happen.

[thxforthememories]

[He's just going to quietly watch.]

[Probably judge a little.]

... I think that's why he said not to drink it quickly.

[badboybikerbot]

[Gunmax deserves a little judging it's ok]

Augh, my God. That was a hundred times worse than the first time I decided to drink diesel. Slowly, okay. Remembering that.

[thxforthememories]

Why would you drink diesel...?

[He's going to take his own advice and drink his cube more slowly. So there.]

[badboybikerbot]

Uhhh. Because it was there. So, I figured, why not. I mean, it was a long time ago. Didn't really know any better.

[and Gunmax thinks he's a badass. Aaaand is ordering some cubes of his own. To drink slowly and not like an idiot.]

[thxforthememories]

... Did the others yell at you for it?

[You know, like everyone seems to be yelling at him.]

[badboybikerbot]

Oh yeah. It was when I was still with the highway patrol, though. No other robots around to hassle me yet.

[Don't worry dude Gunmax won't yell at you]

[thxforthememories]

Highway patrol...

[He's trying to remember if Gunmax ever brought it up before. He can't remember hearing about it. So he drinks some more instead. A+ plan.]

... You don't talk about that very much.

[badboybikerbot]

It wasn't really anything special. Busted a few bike gangs here and there, wrote a few speeding tickets. Typical cop stuff.

[Typical cop stuff that kind of sucked but hey. Gunmax is going to try another one of those cubes. Slowly. And not stupidly.]

[thxforthememories]

You. Wrote tickets.

[What.]

[He even sets his cube down. He's that surprised.]

[badboybikerbot]

Hey, we all gotta start somewhere! And okay, to be fair, I personally didn't write them. They didn't really make those in our size.

[But you can bet your ass he pulled them over]

[thxforthememories]

Oh. I was trying to picture you writing them... and it didn't work.

[And that sentence made a little more sense in his head.]

[... he's going to eye his cube suspiciously.]

[badboybikerbot]

Weird mental image, but nah. I just stood there looking intimidating while... someone else took care of the boring paperwork.

[yep that's the stupid part of the drunk kagebird]

Oh hey, you were right about the buzzing. This is weird.

[thxforthememories]

Like now, hm?

[Since he remembers how much you love paperwork, bro.]

... it's not bad weird, though. Not really.

[badboybikerbot]

Heeey. I do my paperwork. Sometimes.

[No it's the devil THIS IS THE FUTURE WE'RE IN SPACE WHY DOES PAPERWORK STILL EXIST]

Nah, it isn't. It's like tingly.

[thxforthememories]

Are you sure Deckerd and McCrane don't do it for you?

[Kagerou are you teasing. Are you teasing him.]

I like tingling better than thinking.

[badboybikerbot]

Noooo, no way.

Okay maybe sometimes.

[psshhhh gunmax is too cool for being teased ok]

I like a lot of things better than thinking. Doesn't mean it's always healthy, though.

[thxforthememories]

Only sometimes?

[He frowns though, looking into his now-empty cube.]

I don't care about being healthy right now. I just want to... not think.

[badboybikerbot]

Hey, I don't always slack off!

[sure Gunmax is bitching, but he's still been studying Kagerou's face. his face sucks at being ninja.]

Y'know, if something's bugging you, you'll probably feel better if you get it off your chest. And then get stupid drunk.

[thxforthememories]

I know. That was teasing.

[He's going to get another cube first.]

I want to drink first. Everyone else does. Why shouldn't I? It's like they don't think I can. Because I'm not one of them.

[badboybikerbot]

Yeah well.

[Shut up. It's the high grade.]

Whatever, forget that. Look. Gunmax advice time. You seriously need to stop worrying about what anyone else thinks about you. Screw 'em. It doesn't matter. Trust me, not givin' a crap is so much less stressful.

[thxforthememories]

[He finally looks up at him.]

... But some of them are important to me. Like. Like Ratchet. And Kay. And Vandal. And McCrane. And you. And Blurr. And...

[He trails off, and grudgingly finishes his cube.]

... and Shadowmaru.

[badboybikerbot]

Well okay. In that case, just smile and nod whenever someone starts giving you a hard time. Say something smooth and it'll be fine.

[You know what Gunmax is going to finish his cube too and immediately start on a new one. Good life decisions.]

Your other problem is that you get too defensive over things. And now you're mumbling about Shadowmaru, so I'm just going to assume that he's another one of the issues. What'd he do now, bark at you?