[video post]

[raceme]

No…wait..stay put…I…shh…down boy, boy..I’m trying to…right..Frank…stop…there…STAY THERE…good boy…good…

[Blurr is at first talking to someone off camera but he quickly turns to face the screen.]

* Eh-hem*

The Lambda's activity increased la lately and I WANTED to welcome all the new arrivals and let them know that the Police Force's main headquarters is located in _{Prima's Quadrant} If you require any sort of assistance or you have any problems don't hesitate to contact us W-E have a secondary station in Megatronus's quadrant that one’s still under construction...[McCrane didn't have time to finish it and then he got killed, Blurr looks saddened for a brief moment.] Tomorrow night there will be a fireworks ceremony in memorial of those who died...

[Suddenly something silver and very fast moves in front of the screen and on Blurr’s lap, waving his tails excitedly and knocking him backwards.]

…iiiiiIIIIIIiiIEEEeeeeeHHhhhhheeee…F-Frank..down boy..down..I have no more energon goodies for you ..I…I said down…oh scrap.

[Blurr sits up and now he has a very excited silver creature with fox-like characteristics in his arms. He’s trying to hold it down so he can finish his transmission.]

I found this fella when I was heading to the badlands yesterday  let’s not talk about that....he doesn’t have a glyph but the acolytes say he’s probably not going to cause any trouble...he’s easily excitable though..and I still need to get him a collar SO if you see Frank running around please don’t shoot him.

And one last thing…Does anybody know how humans really reproduce? Starscream mentioned that one stings the other with something but all sounded really weird and I’m curious now.

Comments

[Video] oh she is all over this

[vandalization]

Is... is that a fox? You guys have foxes? The fuck...?

Oh and uh. I can explain exactly how humans reproduce. Being as I am one. I am the number one source on this, Blurr.

You can trust me.

[Video] niiiiiiiiiiiice

[raceme]

It's a ^Turbo_fox a form of Cybertronic fauna I Think he's the only one here.

[The Turbofox peers at the screen. he can tell you are talking about him, lady.]

Ohreally?Thankyouthatwouldbegreat! So...how does it work? Starscream mentioned that one of you die after the fact does that mean you are a virgin? since you are very alive and all AND Im glad for that.

[Video]

[vandalization]

Huh. Oh I think I was told about those at some point. jeez. So that's what they look like.

It's kinda cute. I bet I could ride that thing haha.

Well. You see, humans choose a "queen" actually. Like when a female goes into heat she needs to mate with any willing male subjets. She usually does eat her mate's head after, but if she likes him he's spared and they get married.

Anyways, they she mates a whole ton, if she doesn't, she starts to melt. That's what we call a "period". Anyways, so she mates and lays thousands and thousands of eggs. She needs a safe chamber where she can lay the eggs, it's pretty intense.

So she lays all these eggs and anyone who gets near them is usually killed. It takes 9 months for all the egs to hatch into little limbless babies. She eats the weaker ones to ensure strong genes. Then the ones who survive eventually go into an incubation period and lose their tails...

It's all very simple really.

[video]

[holla_atcha_boy]

They trust you with pets?

[ They trust you with Blind Al? ]

[ That's different. Somehow. Shut up. ]

Why you wanna know about the old shagaroo? This part of some Giant Robot Masters plan to reproduce a slave workforce?

[ Wasn't that that plot? In that movie? With Leonard Nimoy? ]

[video]

[raceme]

[Have a >B/ face for a moment.] I found him NOBODY gave it to me he was hungry and kind of confused and I took care of him.

I'm a _{naturally curious} bot that's why. Shagaroo? That's how is it cal-led in your world?

[Video]

[cliffjumper]

Hey, is that a... huh, turbofox? Ages since I saw one.

[He stares a bit at the creature; it does look somewhat different from what he knows as a "turbofox", but it's close enough he can relatively easily guess.]

... And, uh. Blurr, why do you wanna know 'bout human sex?

[He can tell you even if he wishes he didn't know.]

[Video]

[raceme]

Yes _he is HIS name, is Frank. [For frank Sinatra, because Blurr liked his songs when he was on earth. The turbofox stares at the screen and wiggles his tail, he can tell Cliff is talking about him.]

Because Starscream brought it up and he said some really weird things I want to know the truth.

[Video]

[actionshortshorts]

Ah, that's cute! Can I come see him sometime?

Mmmm, reproduce? Like having babies, right? I'm not sure what stinging has to do with anything, but you have to kiss someone you reaaaaally like on the lips. Then you wait for a stork to bring you a baby.

[He's 100% sure. This is how babies work, obviously.]

[Video]

[raceme]

[Yuuta you are adorable. The Turbofox sniffs the screen looking at you.]

BABIES? That's how you call the really tiny organics? Uh...Whatsastork?

[video]

[glacius_passio]

What is that?

[Leviathan is trying really hard not to laugh.]

Why do you want to know about human reproduction?

[video]

[raceme]

It's a turbofox a a form of Cybertronic fauna. [The Turbofox stares at the screen and sniffs it. He know you are talking about him.]

I'm cu-ri-o-us.

VIDEO;

[forcowardice]

What the hell is a human, and why would you wanna know that?

VIDEO;

[raceme]

A human is an organic creature _{smaller than us and hairy} we have some here I WANT TO know because I'm curious.

[video]

[catwoman]

Would you like me to draw you a diagram?

[video]

[raceme]

Everyone is telling me DIFFERENT things about how it works so maybe a diagram would be helpful.

audio

[percept]

Congratulations on your new pet, Blurr.

I am hardly what you would call an expert on humans, but I can assure you there is no stinging involved. They lack the necessary appendages or venom sacks for such things.

video

[raceme]

Thank you PERCEPTOR...[You get another sad look.] How _areyou feeling? DO you Re-qui-re anything?

ohthatsactuallyarelief...Vendal now mentioned something about women melting during their _{periods and Yuuta said that a stork was involved in this whole mess.}

[audio]

[rstlsslegsyndrm]

A memorial service sounds... nice. It'd be good to get... [Then he sees your turbo-fox] ... some... Closure. [Right, fox aside.]

[And then--]

Medically speaking, I've wondered the same about their reproduction cycle as well. [pause] If I recall, there are a great deal of biological fluids involved shared between a "male" and a "female", where then... [pause again] I am sure a human would be better suited to explain and sound less clinical about it.

video!

[raceme]

I think the same about the closure. [The turbofox practically smashes his face against the screen. OH NEW PERSON. HI HI]

Fluids? Like blood? Their way of reproductions sound like it would cause serious wounds. BUT all the humans are telling me different things.

[video and then there's this guy]

[rednotbluethx]

They got dese hidden oh-vi-pos-tors they stick down another human's throat an' then they lay a sack of stuff in their chests an' then the hatchlin' bursts from the human's chest an' somehow the human survives.

Fraggin' ain't makin' this scrap up. I watched me somethin' on Earth. I think it was-a documentary or somethin'. But it dinnit make no sense. There was a robot who got cut in half an' he looked just like a meatbag, too.

Humans are weird an' gross.

[pause]

Also, when's it turbo-fox huntin' season on dis Cybertron, anyways?

THIS ASSHOLE щ(ﾟДﾟщ) .......♥♥♥

[raceme]

Why are YOU ALL saying that they stick different things into each other none of the explanations are the same. HOW CAN THEY SURVIVE THAT !?

Are you sure that thing you watched was about humans?

[Blurr frowns. The Turbofox growls at the screen.] NEVER.

[video]

[tearsofsteel]

Found a new friend?

[video]

[raceme]

He's the reason why I didn't end in the badlands HIS name is Frank.

[And Frank is staring back at the screen now and wagging his tail.]

[Video]

[justthedoctor]

Oh well lookit you! Aren't you a cutey? Yes you are! [No, the Doctor isn't making baby-talk at the turbofox and wiggling his fingers at the screen like it'll play with him. What gives you that idea?]

[But then he's giving a sort of sputter at the "stinging" bit and looking up at Blurr instead.]

Stinging??? No no no no no, that's not it at all, well not really, I wouldn't call it a stinger. More've a poker. Or an injector? Yeah, if you wanna look at it that way, alright, so it's an injector. The female humans carry one half of the required genetic code for a new human inside an organic chamber in their abdomens, the males use the injector to upload the other half of the code, and if they're lucky, the two halves combine and a new human starts to grow. Sort've "insert tab A into slot B, move it all around a bit, and Voila!" It's...a lot more complex then that, of course. Hormones and pheremones and nerves and muscle spasms, but that's more of the incentive that makes the instincts kick in.

[It's almost strange, how easily he can talk about it all. But then he is a 900 year old, scientifically-minded Time Lord. Sure, it's mighty nice and fun for him when he gets it (Which...hasn't been for a very long time...) but nothing about it embarrasses him anymore. Hasn't for a good long while how.]

[Video]

[raceme]

[Oh nothing doctor, nothing.] It takes Blurr a second to realize the doctor is talking to the Turbofox, not him. Frank makes a happy sound and wiggles his tail.]

...an organic chamber in their abdomens......you KNOW all that seems dangerous but I get it. [Thanks for explaining it in a way he could understand, doctor you are a Bro.] Muscle spasms can't be good.