re_alignment | [audio]

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brave police: j-decker | gunmax

[audio]

Okay, check it out. I've got a project. This is important, so I need everyone's cooperation with this.

Someone teach me Cybertronian swear words. Some good insults. Stuff like that. I'm compiling a list. For, y'know.

Science.

[And by SCIENCE he means "actually I'm at work and just looking for ways to procrastinate on paper work" but hey]

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The swear jar can kiss my a- ahhh. Crud, I bet if I swear in front of you, Kagerou will swoop down and do some funky ninja headlock death grip stuff to me.

[He doesn't even say anything. He just stares at the camera. Kind of like this.]

Heeeeeeey, how's my favorite bird?

[haha ha haaaaa]

Don't swear in front of my daughter.

I wasn't gonna!

Oh, you're a. You're a dad now, huh? That's uh.

That's nice.

[wat]

Good.

And yes. She's my family.

That is absolutely adorable. Shit, and here I was thinking you didn't do adorable.

Don't swear where she can hear you.

Shadowmaru is her parent too.

[Yeah you got double ninjas now boy.]

Oh come on! You can't shelter the kid forever!

So she has two big robot ninja dads.

I'm respecting her wishes. She doesn't want to hear swearing.

...

I suppose, yes.

[siiiiiigh] I'll try to watch my mouth around her.

You know that officially makes her cooler than every other kid that's ever lived, right?

Good. Why do you want to know these words, anyway?

Does it?

Boredom, mostly. But also because I'm a great big jerk and I want to expand my jerk vocabulary.

Dude, how many kids can say they have two giant robots for dads? It's totally cool.

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action + AUDIO FOR SHADOWMARU 8U

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You bet he will. He's the best robot here and he'll bend you like a Swiss army pretzel.

...but you're my Uncle so I'll let you off this time.

-This time-

There's no such thing as a Swiss army pretzel.

[humph]

Shows what you know. I've seen one myself.

[No she hasn't.]

Oh yeah? Prove it.

Uh Hello! We're on an alien planet! There are no Swiss!

So you're saying the Swiss can't show up just like we did? Come on.

Find me a Swiss and maybe then we'll talk.

Because they owe me a year and a half's worth of Swiss Rolls.

Heeey, hey. They don't owe you nothin', kid. Life's full of disappointment, you're just gonna have to get used to it.

Are you speaking from experience orrrrrrrr

Well duh.

...I think you need a hug.

Where the hell did that come from?

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