Hello? Is this thing on? How do I... oh.

[Suddenly the video pops on, to a view of a man with short dark hair in a dark grey trench coat and white shirt. He adjusts his clothing slightly and straightens up.]

This is Captain Nathaniel Renko, Spartan platoon of the Titan Corps of North America. Though I'm guessing there's no one here that knows of either of those... [Or he wouldn't be using his real name. But who knows, maybe there's someone around here that remembers Spartan-21 or Titan-1 Actual, or heavens forbid, his name. Without understanding the former connotations of his name in his timeline, hopefully.]

So I've heard that I was dropped through some kind of rift and I'm on another planet. And apparently there are sentient giant robots. Which I guess makes my next question... what's it like where you're from originally?

[If he seems less bothered about the whole "temporal-spacial displacement" thing than others might be, it's because he is. For you, this might be life-changing and incredibly traumatizing, but for him it is Tuesday.]

[When the camera clicks on, all that's visible above a mound of junk is a pair of yellow wings. They twitch, wiggle, and then suddenly go straight as someone murmurs something that sounds like Oh, yes. That's lovely~.

The junk shudders and then explodes outward as Dirge climbs his way out of it, shaking off random scraps.]

Another day, another new world! And this one is so full of things just lying around...

[He's holding something that looks like it could be a mangled old gas mask, pinching experimentally at the long tube hanging from it.]

This place is mine now, understand? I've marked it. [He gestures and the camera swings to the word 'DIRGE' spelled out in old cans.]

So stay away. [The screen is obscured by a pointing claw, then narrow red optics, and then....just junk. It seems he's gone back into the pile.]