[Frenzy is really great at communication's and stuff like that, but he's also really, really wounded and ill right now. In fact, there's a high chance he's close to death. What does that mean? That means his intended lock for Glit to view this message, well, failed, and is shown rather to the general public. And boy does Frenzy look... really banged up. Half of his visor is gone. There's circuits sticking out of various joints and seams. He's caked in dust and dirt. There's a nasty gash across his helm. Just a mess. And it looks like he just managed to dig himself out of a deep hole, too.]

Gl-t. Ne-d h-lp. Coor--- h-re. [It takes a lot of strength to input his coordinates, but he does it.] N-- doin' t-- go-d. [That's an understatement.]

[Frenzy is lying on his back, holding up the link so it is staring down at his rather bored expression.]

Hey. One of you losers come an' bail me outta jail. [His offscreen feet repeatedly stomp against the wall.] I'm so booooooooooooored! [And the stomping gets louder and harder.]

[Locked to Megatronus and Liege]

Heya, buddies. Tell these guys t'let me out. You can do that, right? Either one of you's!

[So, there's no speakers or amplifiers, no, BUT-- Frenzy's little electric guitar can belt out some nice, loud tunes. Which is all he needs, really. And to demonstrate...

[Frenzy calmly finds the perfect spot outside the police headquarters. He's already tuned his guitar, so no need for rehearsal. Frenzy's been monitoring the police schedule to know most of them should be in the building right now. And after Prowl's recent post - well, sounds like these guys need a pick-me-up.]

[And thus Frenzy starts playing. And it is loud, and enough to nearly shatter glass. If there were dogs, they would be howling right about now. But, hey, he's not bad at playing - just needs more work. Until then, have the guitar cover of a Zeppelin song he picked up on Earth. ♥]

Heya, losers! Ya miss me? So, how many of you's got tortured or died while I was away?

'Cause while you pansies were sittin' on yer cushy little tooshies, I was out fightin' an' killin' monsters an' pretty much moppin' the Badlands wit' their faces. Totally owned the place. An' if ya don't believe me, talk t'Megatron. The cool one. Not that ugly one or that sissy one or that other one. The cool one.

[He's neglecting to mention how he got beat up pretty damn bad, and a few people, including a human and dumb doll, had to help him out.]

Anyway, I'm all ready gettin' real bored, so how many of you wanna have some fun? Elita, baby, I got a great idea for a date~

( [locked to Tarn] )

( [locked to Zer0] )

( [locked to Rung] )

( [locked to Blurr/the police] )

[Hello, everyone. This is Frenzy, and welcome to Jackass.]

[Frenzy is currently sitting in a rusty old grocery cart. The front is padded with dirty, flat pillows, a blanket full of holes, and a stuffed animal rabbit that looks like it went through an incinerator, tied together and in place with frayed ropes. The cart is tipped forward, pointed down a very steep, long hill, kept back only by a bungee cord anchoring it to a heavy rock.]

[Frenzy shoves a safety helmet on his head. It's made for human adults, but it's large enough. It's also a lovely shade of neon pink. He finishes strapping the helmet into place and finally acknowledges the camera with a big grin and thumb's up; it's a semi-tight fit in the cart, and he reaches over, fussing with the bungee cord before finally untying it from the cart's leg.]

[And off Frenzy and the cart go. There's a lot of whooping and shouting as the old thing bounces and rolls at insane speed down that very fierce drop. Faster and faster, with Frenzy's hands thrown in the air like he's on a roller-coaster, dropping them only to steer or keep the cart upright the few times it jolts to the side.]

[It is not a terribly long ride. The cart speeds onward from the drop and then violently crashes into one of the police headquarter's walls. The sounds of impact are enough to make one wince and grimace. The padding did nothing, and the cart flips forward as it caves in, ejecting Frenzy; Frenzy hits the wall with his entire body, head first, cracking the helmet deeply, before falling back, rolling a few feet on the ground, and then standing. He promptly sways before catching his balance; rubs the cracked helmet then grins at his device, which has managed to capture all of this near perfectly.]

Slag! I don't even feel a thing! [A big big smile] Rate it a 10 or I'll cut off yer afts.

[It has been a real gloomy past couple of days, what with Rung dying and all, and everyone just in general unrest/bored/anxious.

Frenzy, however, not so much. Mounted on Frank the turbofox's back, Frenzy is riding throughout the Haven, throwing water balloons filled with paint at just about anything and anyone who crosses his path. His boombox he received from Santa Prime tied to his back, playing the only song on its single cassette. Over and over again.]

I'm on the law committee, I'm on the law committee! I own all yer afts! I'm on the law commitee!

[Just an FYI - um, the police station might need some hosing down.]

[ooc: Feel free to speak/actionspam with Frenzy! And if you want to get hit with a paint balloon, even better! However, Prowl is the one who'll be stopping Frenzy, but all ya'll other people are sure free to try, huhuhu.]

[The communicator switches on accidentally thanks to a tired hand slap. For nearly five minutes, you are exposed to just one scene: Frenzy, now a Cassetticon again, spooning and curled up around a stuffed, taxidermy green iguana. Behind him, a burnt and busted mannequin leg. Five whole minutes of just watching Frenzy sleep and occasionally grunt and snore and even once start moving his feet like he's running before he half-wakes. Half-aware he's reaching for a bottle of whisky, taking a drink - then sitting upright and spitting the nasty human crap all over the communicator. Hope you liked that image.]

[Then...]

Oh.

[Slowly, it dawns on him--] Scrap! [He fusses with the doused communicator before the feed cuts.]

[Frenzy is so happy you're all tuning in for another one of his delightful videos. And so soon! He's so grateful for his fans! And you can tell! Because he's got this big shit-eating grin on his face.]

Since yer 'Con here is gonna be yer kickaft DJ at the upcomin' party, I gotta look good. Especially when I take a break t'dance wit' my old lady. [He's talking about you, Elita.] An' maybe a few more of you's - if yer lucky. [Megatronus? Call me?]

But check dis out! Check dis out! [He ducks out of view below the screen, fussing with something.] I got me the perfect new hat! [More shuffling and a second later, Frenzy stands. His smile is wider. On his head is a strange bit of human attire that any human here will tell you is quite obviously a bra. A really bright, perky bra. On his head.]

Check it! Ain't dis cool? Kinda makes me feel like I'm a pilot or somethin'! Gonna climb in my cockpit an' shoot some fraggers down. [Frenzy then gives the double barrel finger snaps.] Gotta admit, though... I was thinkin' dis would be a bit bigger, but kinda small fer... [Shrugs] Ah, well! [He adjusts the bra aka aviator goggles a bit.] Gonna make a fashion statement wit' dis baby! Soon everyone will be wantin' t'wear one!

But anyway! [Frenzy tugs at the straps hanging by his face] I'm thinkin' some of you ladies need a li'l... spin 'round the record, know what I mean? [really creepy snicker that seems to block out a distant, angry noise--an angry noise that seems to be growing louder by the second] An' I'm thinkin' once I take ya on the dance floor, I'll take ya--

流口水的婊子和猴子的笨兒子!

[That aforementioned angry noise from earlier has turned into a very loud, very angry shrieking of a young woman; Frenzy looks up just in time for a foot to come smashing down right in his face. In a blur of color and furious Chinese profanity and Frenzy's screaming, there's suddenly the perfect view of a pair of pretty panties beneath a skirt right in front of the screen and, consequently, right in your face, as Shaoshao bends over and proceeds to brutally beat the tape out of the Cassetticon.

Look away if you can.]

[ooc: Shaoshao's obviously the lady in red; prepare for responses from either her and/or Frenzy!]

[Locked to Elita One]

Heya, toots. Been thinkin' 'bout all our jam sessions an' thought we ought t'take this flirtin' to a whole new level, know what I mean? [He'd wink if he could] So's how 'bout you an' I meet up at the club an' have ourselves a coupla drinks, a few dances, then go back to my place an' bang a gong. Or yers; ain't picky! C'mon, I know a li'l somethin' 'bout Valenteen Day, havin' lived on Earth an' all fer so long. Ain't it a holiday best spent wit' someone you love - or someone ya wanna bang until yer interface circuits get all glitchy an' raw?

By the by, I made ya a li'l somethin-somethin I wanna give to ya when we meet up.

[/locked]

[Locked to Megatronus]

Heya, boss. Ya mind doin' a li'l bondin' time wit' yer best soldier? [He'd wink if he could]

[/locked]

[And open to everyone else:]

DON'T COME-A KNOCKIN' 'ROUND MY PLACE T'NIGHT.

[When the video switches on, Frenzy is kind of slumping, tired but not quite exhausted. Mostly, he looks like he got tossed around and kicked a few times with his visor (once again) cracked and tear along his chestplates. Though kind of hard to notice, considering he's covered in some... slimy looking substance, head to toe. Blood? Maybe. It's gross, though, and if you could smell through the link, you'd probably want to vomit. Frenzy grips a twisted, half-bent lead pipe in his hand, and there's weird chunks of something sticking along the...

Oh.

Despite all this, the Cassetticon just looks a little peeved. But mostly nonchalant.]

Tho. Tha wuth fun.

[Frenzy reaches up and touches the missing gap along the top row of his teeth. So that's why he's talking a little weird(er).] I loth thoo dentha plathes. I know I thwallowed one. Tha can' be good? Buth tha oththur ith thumwhere here. [He glares at the link] Did one of youth take my toof?

[He pauses and watches something gross plop off his wounded shoulder.] Altho, I guth I need a docthor. Or whaeverth.

[The link opens with Frenzy's evil little snicker. It is very diabolical, and impish.]

Soooo... Blarrgh, wuzzit? The blue Autodink who talks too fast an' too much an' has a weird cone-like helm? Y'know who ya are. An' I'm sure by now, you've noticed somethin' of yers is... missin'.

[The audio is suddenly filled with the robotic yip-yip of a turbo-fox.]

Tha's right, cone-head. I got yer fox. [Maniacal laughter nearly drowns out a playful 'gek-gek-aroo' noise.] You thought he was safe, dinnitcha? Thought I couldn't git my servos on him, dinnitcha? Well, how's it taste, Autobutt? The bitter irony of defeat! [Or whatever! More cackling and another aroo.]

Don'tcha worry if foxy's doin' okay. It is. Fer now. Wuz his designation? "Frank"? Pfft. Ain't got no imag-gee-nation. [gek-gek] You's said Frankie here is part of the police force, right? Aw, so this must be more than a kidnappin', but some sorta theft er somethin'. But I wouldn't worry 'bout that, yea. I'm all too happy t'give Frankie here back to you an' the others! [gek-roo]

Whether alive or in pieces.

[Frenzy laughs and something crashes] Siddown! [The shuffle of metallic paws flood the audio before things settle and Frenzy's no longer grumbling.] Anywho: I'm willin' t'give Frankie back to you an' yer lawmechs, if yer willin' t'pay the right price. I'm talkin' maybe, oooh [gek] one billion credits? [HahahaROOhahaha!]

I'm willin' t'take it from you or any of yer partners. So long as I git the credits, I don't care, an' Frankie's spark gets to pulse another day. So if [sniffsniff] giddown! [hiss] So if ya ain't willin' t'pay the ransom, then... I guess Frankie don't mean much t'ya after all.

Whatta say, Autobot? We got ourselves a deal? You git Frankie back when I git the credits. An' if I was you, I wouldn't take too long da-lib-ratin'. Frankie's spark is on the line, y'know. An' I've got him scared scrapless! [His laughter is coupled with a similar noise]

Y'got ten kliks to respond or I raise da ransom! An' start cuttin' off plates.

[The audio would shut off here, but something happens, and through cursing and more yipping, the link suddenly clicks onto visual, falls to the ground. You can easily see most of Frenzy laughing happily as Frank licks his visor, promptly giggling. A moment later, the fox gekkers then hums and the two are nuzzling face to face, and it's really all adorable and cute until Frenzy notices the video is playing and quickly grabs the link and shoves the screen into his face] I got 'im eatin' right outta my hand! Fooled him completely! S-So, yeah! Ya better hurry an'-- [Embarrassed, he just switches off the damn thing.]

[OOC: Kidnapping Frank the turbo-fox comes with permission from Blurr-mun! Also, I really love the noises foxes make. Especially their gekkering.]

[Yeah. So. Frenzy isn't doing very well hiding the fact he's sulking. Trying to act tough by crossing his arms and looking away from the camera isn't working really well either. But at least his irritation should be getting across the link.]

So.

I needa medic. [It pains him to say this, obviously. Asking for help is for Autobots.] Fer... someone. Yeah. Someone is injured an' needs help an' he's whiny an' he won't shuddup until he gits it. [It's obviously not him with his cracked visor and helm, which seems to have worsened since his arrival.]

[He quickly points at the camera, glowering] An' if there ain't no 'Con docs here, I guess I--he'll see an Autobutt! But I wouldn't try nuttin'. He's loaded, y'hear? Guns an' super strength an' he says he took out Optimus once [smirk] yeah said it was easy, too, shoulda seen his face, dat wannabe saintly afth-- [ERR] Yeah, but you've been warned. [Asking politely is also for Autobots.]

[It's amazing the communicator still works, with how much he's freakin' hitting it. It spins dizzily down, aside, up, then back down, until you've got Frenzy's face all up in yours. He looks agitated, annoyed, and a little sour - there's a dent in the top left side of his helm, as well as a crack along the top left corner of his red visor.]

Those myztical stupid trashbins in rags told me I'm in some fraggin' alternate u-ni-verse, on an alternate Cybatron. I fell from some fraggin' tear in time er whatever an' I've been given dis ugly thing. [He points to the Megatronic glyph on his arm, though you can't see it with how he's angled the communicator.] An' I told 'em, stop tryin' t'miss wit' my processors; told 'em ain't NO ONE make a mark on Frenzy, an' then I...!

[Frenzy trails off. Frowns.] Well, I was gonna shoot 'em, but my fraggin' guns are lost somewhere. Dat's what they said. Prolly took 'em. But I did fight one-a dem. Knocked it outta da fraggin' ball mark, know what I'm sayin'? Sent the sparklin' cryin' for his mama! [Sure, he's laughing and boasting, but there's still something off, as if he's lying. But shh, you don't notice that. He doesn't even bother to mention his superficial head/visor wounds.]

Anyway, where th' frag is Soundwave? Rumble? Laserbeak? Scrap, the entire fraggin' family!? I know I can't be th' only one offus here! [grumble] Just my fraggin' luck if I'm surrounded entirely by dumb Autobutts...