[Crow appears on the feed, dressed in his festive...red nose. That's it. Times are tough in this economy kids and even someone like Crow's feeling the hurt. But that doesn't stop the holiday spirit!

Anyhow, Crow's ready to kick this thing into gear.]

Well the Christmas season's upon us again (or if you're a certain trashcan the less important and embarrassing holiday Lifeday). But some of you must be wondering: what is Christmas? And like most of you, those people live under a rock.

Let me explain: Christmas is a magical time, a time of jolly fat men in red suits, Coca-cola product placements, and using the emotions of your loved ones to get what you want! But most importantly, it's a time we gather round and remember the reason Christmas even exists: Patrick Swayze. Yes, he's the bouncer of Christmas, guarding the north pole from the Martian threat until Santa is ready to deliver his presents.

And so to honor the Christmas spirit of Swayze, I have a little carol to sing. Normally Tom would sing this, but bear with me--and sing along if you want!

And now: 'Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas'.


( Follow the bouncing dot )

[If anyone has been wondering where Strelok has been, they will be getting the answer to that question presently. Strelok is on top of a ladder, tying together what looks to be a couple pieces of corrugated steel with some kind of flexible metal.

That finished, Strelok slides down the ladder, adjusting the camera back, to show the World's Lamest Shack. The walls and roof are all the corrugated steel, tied with the same wire. Sitting outside is that freakish energon-eating plant he picked up ages ago... which has a bunch of Christmas lights on it and doesn't seem too happy about. His pseudodog Fang is in a much better mood, though, tail thumping on the ground as it wags.

Strelok grins a little. Proud of yourself much, dude?]

Not too bad, for a hand-made home, yes? Nexus Prime, you know I like you, but I cannot loiter in your temple anymore.

And I have heard it is also near Christmas? Well, then we celebrate like stalkers! Isaac, I will find beer; we will have a party in the medbay. Who knows, maybe I will even be able to find some food that is better than normal. If anyone else wants to come, you are welcome. Though you Cybertronians will have to bring your own... energon, is it?

[Well, this is certainly better than what had happened to her back home. Airachnid had patiently waited and allowed the Acolytes to explain her situation before she killed one of them and sent the other running. It was so tempting to chase it down, but she had other matters to deal with.

Another Cybertron hmm? She can definitely work with that. A new Cybertron means new possibilities. She just hopes that there's no Megatron around to mess up her plans. Or sentence her to death, that's always good to avoid too.

At the very least she can say that she's the prettiest face on the network.]

Greetings Cybertron! I can honestly say that I never expected to turn up here again. Not that I'm complaining, home sweet home after all.

[Look at how absolutely not dangerous she is.]

My name is Airachnid, and if any of you boys and girls can give me any additional information then I'd be delighted. [She offers the network a sly wink.] Don't worry, I only bite when you ask me to.

One more thing: Who's the top dog around here? Gods or not, someone has to be in charge.

[She wants to know for purely innocent reasons.]