( Locked to Starscream )

[While it's mostly a view of Jetfire, it's obvious he's standing near the garden in Alpha Trion's quadrant, looking slightly... pinched.]

While intending to perform a scan of the Lambda which would've hopefully given us more information to work with potentially getting back where we belong, the modifications I'd been fitted with had a bit of a... er, conflict, with some of my own systems.

I ended up elsewhere in the galaxy, and given the planet I landed on, I took some time to perform a few basic inquiries.

[The view tilts, sweeps down and shows an eclectic bunch of containers (made of one empty cube and two boxes made of rock obviously carved with lasers), one of which contained... well, nothing more exciting than dirt. The other two, however, were filled to the brim with nearly violently pink, oblong fruits - those of you from Earth and familiar with American football might recognise the shape. Scale was of course hard to tell, but they were probably the size of an adult human's head.]

With the limited knowledge I have of what's necessary nutrients for at least humans, and what's poisonous, as far as I can determine, they're edible. [He can't guarantee taste, though, not that Jetfire thought of that at all.] Someone with more knowledge than I may want to investigate further to make absolutely sure, however.

[The view shifts back to Jetfire as he moves his arm with the sceen away from the ground and the containers.]

I need to stress that you need to be very careful when handling the fruit; breaking the skin in any way will cause the up to four seeds within to start to germinate very quickly, so we need to figure out how to keep the seeds inert until they're needed, because the fruits will produce more seed than necessary to feed our current organic population...

The plant created by the seed will grow to bearing fruit and die within four days, so as you can understand, a steady, quick supply of fruit will not be an issue and does require some care in how many seeds are planted.

[He glances down at the ground, then back up, a frown growing from his flat, pinched expression.]

I'll answer questions as you might have them, but I would prefer to not have to be involved further with this.

[No, he's not going to elaborate too deeply into why. Suffice to say he doesn't like plants now. At all.]

[ hey look everyone it's Vandal. And a turbofox. And a very, very fat cat. This is in fact perhaps the fattest cat you will ever see. It's more like a ball of lard with wee kitty-legs and eyes. And it looks. Pissed. ]

So. Did someone lose a cat? And more over, has anyone seen Magnus? Justice the fox kinda came chasing this guy in here, so he's probably missing his dad.

[ She holds up the cat, which practically oozes around her hands. ]

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmooowwwwww...

Uh. Yeah. As for the cat? If nobody claims him, I'm keeping him.

Say hello to Sir Pattyfatty McFleaface.

Mmmmmmrrrrrrr.

[ Holy shit this cat is pissed. ]

 [Well, someone had found their present the Lambda gave them, although a little late than most.  He's just not very perceptive, okay? In fact he's a little surprise he even had a gift wrapped and addressed to him. so he the feed clicks on to show him lightly touching the paper, delicately trying to open it. A part of him wants to keep it wrapped, knowing full well the 'humor' this place seems to have, but alas, curiosity gets the better of him.  When it's unwrapped, it appears to be...a red desk lamp.  Well, it matches his coat, right?

And from the look on his face, you'd think he'd just been shot.  No...it couldn't be...]

Ray? Ray!

[He leans over, inspecting every part of this present, eyes as wide as dinner plates.]

Ray! It's me, Sissel! 

[The lamp doesn't move, but one of those words seems to trigger something, and the lamp flickers on. Sissel recoils back in surprise.  No, no this was too good to be true. He gave the lamp a slight poke, and it's stem bent in response.  There was no reaction, no nothing. Just a lamp who's light had flickered on.  It made Sissel's 'heart' sink as he slumps back, looking at it sadly.

He'd gone from completely happy to...pranked in about five minutes.]

Whoever did this has a weird sense of humor...