Greetings. Laharl here with an announcement.

As I do not have my vassals to deliver my message across this world, I have taken it upon myself to read it out loud to you.

[He does actually pull out a piece of paper which he starts to read.]

Dear all those who inhabit this place,
I, Laharl, propose a challenge to all those who inhabit this place.

It has occurred to me that there are many who could possibly claim the title as Supreme Overlord, so I propose this formal challenge:

Anyone who wishes to, may fight me for the title at stake.

Due to the festivities that will soon take place, I propose this challenge take place exactly one week from now.

The rules are as follows:

In exactly one week, I will be residing in the center of the haven. Anyone who wishes to fight me may meet me there.

The winner is whoever fully defeats the other.

Anyone who does not show up will be considered to have forfeited their right to the title, which means, of course, an automatic win for myself.

If I remain victorious throughout the entire day, I shall be declared ultimate winner and assume the title for all eternity.

Sincerely,
Overlord Laharl

[He folds the piece of paper and stuffs it somewhere under his scarf.]

Thank you for your time.

[Disconnect.]

Greetings.

[Greetings is a good way to start, no? Damn, how do you socialize?! What are people? Someone help him!]

In order to find some material for the... "dance", I went into the Junk Pile and found some items I am willing to give to those who need them. It includes:

A few rolls of dead animal skin.
A black jacket, no doubt part of a suit but I couldn't find the rest.
Two black bowties, but I am keeping one for myself.
Three ties: one pink with green dots, one yellow with blue sharks and one solid black. I think the last one tried to strangle me, but it might just have been the wind.
A pair of scissors.
What looks like brightly colored rope...? [That's tinsel, sweetie.]
Two rather thick sheets of copper, three of aluminum, and one of what appear to be tin. Plus some silver sheet, a lot smaller though.
Three cans of peach. I think they are still good.
Fresh apples. Two bags of them actually.
Brightly colored feathers. Handfuls of them.

And... that's all.

I am at the Hub if you need anything.

And I am also missing a... "date". If someone is interested....