[The camera is shaking so violently, those of you with motion sickness problems may need to go find a toilet. It's shaking because Dirge is holding it and he's shaking too. The screen catches a blurry grin before the communicator is tossed onto something solid.]

Okay I knew human food was good but I never got to taste all of it the last time and there's this stuff that I found in the junkyard called 'candy' and its loaded with sugar and sugar tastes AMAZING and its in other stuff too- hold on.

[He needs to stop and take a deep breath, because weirdly enough he can't talk non stop as a human without this burning sensation in his chest.]

Anyhow there was these brown bags with all different colored little circles with an 'm' on them and also a couple of boxes of these squishy square things named Debbies and they're so good even when you mix the two together OH AND DON'T FORGET THE ROLLS OF WHITE MUSH I CAN FIT THREE OF THOSE IN MY MOUTH AT ONCE BECAUSE I AM THE KING OF TWINKI- .....


U...urgh... [He doubles over suddenly, clutching at his midsection.]

H-hold on again.

[Dirge lurches off camera and there's the sound of...yup, wretching. Candy wrappers and empty boxes of snack cakes litter the ground behind where the jet turned human had been standing.]

OH WOW ITS EVERY COLOR!

I must begin with stating that this incident you have all been suffering through had nothing to do with myself.

Nor, unfortunately, did it have to do with Alpha Trion or his pages.

[Though that would have made this problem much simpler if it were.]

As it stands my brethren and I have been compiling data on the nature of the transformative waves emanating from the Lambda. I believe we have determined a pattern.

If there are any who need an immediate solution, contact the one whose glyph you bear.

Otherwise, in a few days time it will no longer be an issue. In order to make the change back permanent--we'll be altering the energy as it enters Cybertron's atmosphere.

Jetfire, I will need your assistance for this.

If there are any others who are capable of space flight, as well--let me know.

[He won't be using you now, but that doesn't mean he can't make plans of his own.]