[Why hello yes that is an Alia wearing a face-eating pair of heart-shaped shutter shades and a very glittery pink feather boa. She grins into the video feed.]

Greetings, Haven!

[The feed pans out to take in Knock Out as well, red paintjob shinning red even more than usual for the occasion. He has some v-cards on his hand and a mischievous grin on his face. Alia waves.]

Valentine's Day is coming up, and for all the people who will be missing the festivities this year, Knock Out and I have scienced [shut up that is a verb now] a perfect solution for all your romance needs! We have perfected a one hundred and twenty percent accurate matchmaking algorithm, perfect for bringing some interest and excitement into your love life!

Now, if you're not up on your Earth cultural traditions, don't sweat! We have you covered!

[Knock Out nods and then chimes in.] Now, what’s that entire Valentine’s nonsense about, you might wonder? Valentine’s a human mating festivity that mixes different courting techniques. One of the most common ones is the exchange of little notes with romantics statements.

[Knock Out clears his throat and starts to read some of the cards. To help everybody to get into the spirit of valentine day, Alia and Knock Out left one v-card in front of everyone's room door. In fact, just to get into the real spirit of the holiday, all the v-cards conveniently sport the forged signatures of random people around Haven the best match according to that very scientific matchmaking algorithm. Feel free to find yours and thank them.]

Enjoy all that love in the air! 'Cause if you can't get laid on Valentine's Day, the other three hundred and sixty four days aren't looking too good either.

 [ Someone's being more monotone than usual today. ]

It's funny, I didn't think such an absurd practice would carry over to another dimension. I'll have to update the file.

'Pointless acts of otherwise previously unsolicited gestures brought on by a false holiday' Check.

And before someone suggests 'I'm bitter because I'm alone', it's actually quite the opposite. Alone makes for undisputed homemaking.

No one to tell you 'the desk needs to be oak' or 'that linoleum flooring isn't progressive'.

At least you aren't stuffing your faces with chocolate. Who knows, were you, the whole planet might exceed the system's gravitational field, and fly off into the cold, quiet unknown.

Just saying.

[ There's a loud click and whirr, and the unpleasant scratch of sharp metal on glass. ]

Looks like my prototype's done. Happy Valentine's Day to me indeed.

[Four isn't entirely sure what's compelling her to do this, but she feels like it's the right thing to do. All good things come to an end, right? As much as she wants what she has here to last forever...

Well, even she knows it can't happen.]

Hello Haven! My name is 4, for those who I have never talked with before. It's a bit late for introductions though.

My time here has meant the world to me. I have grown beyond the person I was when I first came here. I have learned and catalogued much, and I have made so many wonderful friends. It is a comfort to me to know that all of you exist, and I will remember you forever if I can. There is so much more I wish I could say. Perhaps that'll be enough.

This is goodbye. I will be leaving soon to go seek out Wing. Maybe there I will find my happy ending. Maybe I will come back someday, but I feel like this will be the last time we will talk to each other.

I don't have anything of value to give anyone. Everything I have collected and catalogued is stored in both of my rooms in Liege's and Alpha Trion's temples. You may look through them if you want, but they're only little things.

Crow, I want you to have my bag of marbles. They're special to me and I feel like you've lost yours a while ago. Hee.

I hope all of you will find happiness and knowledge in whatever you do!

Goodbye.